Posts

Showing posts from September, 2007

HE CAN COME HOME!!!!

On their way out of Canada, Andy and Joyce found a business with a payphone and a fax, so Sunday I received a phone call asking me to fax copies of Andy's birth certificate, passport, and our marriage license (to explain why he is traveling with my passport or to let them know if they didn't let him back in the US, there would be a very irate woman in Idaho they would have to deal with--not sure which). Faxing on a Sunday can be a challenge--my office is several miles away and while I know how to arm the security system, I do not know how to disarm it and didn't want to make a strange situation worse by having Andy get home and find his wife incarcerated for breaking & entering. Luckily, I am a woman who can work Google and found an e-fax program. It took several tries--including me having to locate Andy's NEW passport (which at least explains the "why-couldn't-you-tell-the-difference-from-the-covers" question, but doesn't help with the "…

I Married A Female Impersonator!

Andy & his friends set off for their Canadian canoing adventure on Labor Day. Why didn't I go with them? I love Andy with all my heart, but while I have faithfully promised to love, honor, and cherish him for the rest of our lives, no part of that involves 10 days away from indoor plumbing. We all have our limits.

The trip was going fine--they were seeing lots of the country, neither car had any problems, no big road construction--then Thursday Andy sent me the following text page:

"The passport I grabbed was yours! Fortunately, they let me into Canada anyway. Not sure if I will make it out again in ten days. Andy"

Canada must be a lot more relaxed than we are in the States, or perhaps gender-confused canoeists are high on their list of desirable immigrants. I text-messaged Andy back suggesting that he tell the border patrol that he went to Canada for a sex-change operation, and that the passport HAD been valid when he left. We'll see. So far my impressio…

Stole? What stole?

Image
Some knitting projects are a lot like dating. At first, it's exciting--the possibilities are endless. Everything is new and and it's all great. Then, you start to notice the little things--the pattern is a little repetitive, Mr. Maybe chews really loudly, the project's shape is a little odd, Mr. Maybe's shape is a little odd--then the doubts start. Is this really working for me? Do I want to see this person/project five years from now? Is this worth giving up closet space (notice how nicely that works for both)?

Then you notice the big things--the pattern is not just repetitive, it makes you want to remove your brain and beat it against the wall; Mr. Maybe is a boor who does everything really loudly, and condescendingly explains that to "patronize" means to talk down to, without seeing the obvious irony. Working on the project makes you want to stab someone with a knitting needle--being around Mr. Maybe makes you want to stab HIM with a knitting needle.…

"Baching it - Day Two"

I heard from the adventurers last night--they were in North Dakota. Not bad, for having left Monday. Andy & Joyce spent the first part of the journey exchanging Match.com stories. Then they read Jeeves & Wooster stories. Joyce is a lovely person who may be the only "Type A" Granola on the planet. She was arriving home from a 3-day camping trip less than 24 hours before they left. I realize this is not my thing, but if I were facing 10 days in the wilderness, I'd have been spending as much time around indoor plumbing as possible leading up to it....:)

The cats spent our first night alone squabbling over which one was going to sleep on my head. Last night Theo decided if Andy wasn't sleeping beside me, a mostly dead bird would be a good substitute. I'm not sure what that says about his opinion of Andy, but the cat & his gift were promptly locked out of the house. Since the bedroom windows were open, I was a bit worried that the neighbors might h…