Monday, October 22, 2007

Things We Have Learned This Month

* A paper cut is not the most humiliating injury ever--that would be slicing one's finger open on the foil covering a container of yogurt.

* Some companies possess the chutzpah to tell employees their jobs are being outsourced to a foreign country, then ask the employees to stay on another eight months to help transition themselves out of their jobs.

* If you're from Idaho, "wide stance," "super tuber," and "I am not gay" will permanently be part of your life.

* The "Mystery Stole" does not get more attractive even after "time apart."

* Being able to shock a divorce/custody attorney with the antics of an ex-wife is the legal equivalent of having an operation that is so unusual that other doctors will want to observe.

* Sometimes sales requires going beyond persistence. Sometimes you have to be in it just for the sport

* There is a reason normal people rent Halloween costumes

* It is best to check the house for dead rodent/birds BEFORE the cleaning people arrive.

* You might as well test the "for better, for worse" part of the marriage vows early. Why live in suspense?

Thursday, October 4, 2007

Avast Ye Maties!

Leave it to an English major--trying to talk like a pirate and I'm debating how to spell "maties"

Having hosted pajama parties, Christmas parties, soup parties, murder-mystery parties, birthday parties, going-away parties, and the most-notable "Farewell to the Orange Carpet" party (explanation for another blog entry), I have never hosted a true Halloween party, so this year the "no-parties" embargo is being lifted with a Halloween bash. In true over-achiever fashion, I am making our costumes--having fully recovered from the experience 2 years ago. I admit, I am deliriously proud of myself for starting AHEAD OF TIME . My costume--Dorothy of the Wizard of Oz (movie, not book)--is done, washed, and hanging in my closet where it has been for a month and a half. My smugness would be hard to live with if I hadn't saved the more difficult costume for October.....the Pirate.


I am sure that the Simplicity pattern company does not actually employ sadists who think that messing with people's minds is second in fun only to driving people to alcoholism....BUT, they may wish to reconsider the employment of some of the people who write directions for their patterns. Or, perhaps, let them spend time with the people who create the drawings to accompany the written instructions. I think they should at least introduce them. A nodding acquaintance might be helpful. The pants & shirt have so far been enough of a struggle that I am doing a prototype of the jacket before attempting the "real thing" in velveteen (a really unforgiving fabric). While fashions come-and-go, I didn't see Andy wanting two pirate coats, so there was no point in wasting good material for the prototype, so I found the most inexpensive fabric available at my local Joann fabrics--a print so ugly that I paid less than 50 cents a yard for:


Personally, I think it will look stunning as a pirate coat--possibly worthy of Elton John?????? Once he's senile?

Theo, of course, finds the whole costume-making project exhausting....

I'm not nervous just yet--the pants are almost done, the shirt was finished tonight, and I have 23 days to finish the jackets. I think, worse case scenario, Andy could go as a golfer pirate....We could even rent him out to miniature golf courses as an added attraction......

I'll have to run the idea past him.

The Look

Anyone who thinks cats can't learn things hasn't lived with one. It took Theo maybe a month into his diet to figure out that I can...