Since I didn't have anything truly pressing today, I decided to do some of the "extra" cleaning--you know, the stuff you hardly ever get around to doing. In the grips of this madness, I decided it would be a good time to wash the pillows from our bed.
The pillows are reasonably new, so I hadn't washed them before, but I carefully read the tags (because, you know, under penalty of law I was obligated not to remove them...), loaded them in the washer, which is a front-loading machine so I wasn't even actually too worried about it. I added some detergent, set it on gentle, and went off to do other things, coming back when the buzzer went off.
So far, so good. The stuffing had neither clumped nor exploded all over the washer, so I was feeling pretty confident at this point. The tags said to dry them on low heat/fluff. Fine. I put them in the dryer, set it to low, and walked away.
Now I am no mechanical genius, but I have found that when it sounds like an appliance is screaming in pain, this is a very bad thing. I took the pillows out of the dryer, turned it on--no screaming. Put the pillows back in the dryer, turned it on--screaming. It may be hard to believe this coming from someone who is currently getting her ass kicked by a couple pillows, but even I have the sense to NOT destroy a $400 appliance over a couple $50 pillows.
Since it's a balmy 2 degrees above freezing, hanging the pillows outside to dry seemed like the next logical choice--aside from the fact that we don't have a clothes line or anything of that sort. Briefly, I thought of trying to use the corner of the fence & the top lattice work to rig up a clothesline
You might not have put much thought into this, but wet pillows are actually remarkably heavy. Trying to suspend one between a pole and a stepladder will, as it turns out, pull the stepladder over. HOWEVER,
if suspended between a pole, stepladder, and big gas barbecue, it won't. Pillow number one taken care of (until it dips below freezing, of course--by which time I hope to have made this Andy's problem and not mine)
Pillow number two required a little more creativity, as we only have barbecue and the pillars on the patio are rather far apart, so I would like to introduce you to the world's first barbecue-pillar-hot tub suspension clothes line: