Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Toni and the No Good, Horrible, Very Bad Day

There are some things I just do not look forward to.  I'm not sure if I really dread anything, but if I do, it is the annual woman's wellness exam.  Anything that involves stirrups but no horse is NOT going to be good.  It's really the low point of my entire year.  Last time I'd scheduled the appointment late in the day, and the anticipation ruined my entire day, so this time I decided to schedule it for first thing in the morning so I could just get it over and done with.  To be fair, I didn't spend all of yesterday dreading it--instead I spent all of Sunday dreading it. So that really didn't work.  But, that is how I started my day off yesterday.

As I also had a haircut scheduled and some errands to run, I wasn't going to have a chance to go home for lunch, and eating out is a huge problem on a no-or-low-processed-foods diet.  Before our experiment, Subway was my fast food restaurant of choice because it had the healthiest options, but now that we have mostly eliminated processed foods, sliced sandwich meats taste a lot like plastic.  So I decided to go through the Wendy's drive through for a "single" (only one hamburger patty, and that there are any other options for number of meat patties explains a lot about the obesity rates in America), with lettuce, tomato, onion, and extra pickles.  The only reason I even like hamburgers is that they make a wonderful pickle delivery device.  I love dill pickles, so I was almost looking forward to my lunch.  I went through the drive through, handed over my money, got my sandwich and cup of water, and was already well on my way to the next stop before I discovered they had forgotten the blasted pickles!  Seriously, I didn't even get ONE, and by this point I was running too late to go back and make them hand over my pickles.  The bastards.  

Operating on the "why ruin two perfectly good days," I thought I might as well go stand in line at the Department of Motor Vehicles to get my driver's license renewed as a follow-up activity.  As this was opening day for the new location, there was a long line but the people waiting were generally friendly as there was a spirit of camaraderie in trying to figure out the new system.  Still, it is the day once every 8 years when a total stranger gets to ask you if your weight is the same as it was 8 years ago (um, sure........) and the worst picture you will possibly have taken in the current decade is snapped and given to you to carry around for the next 8 years.  This particular picture is particularly vile as the winds were going at a nice "gentle hurricane" clip outside and I will stand a good chance of no one recognizing me from the picture unless I have used the blender to fix my hair that day.

So, in case anyone was wondering why I was in pajamas by 3:00 PM yesterday, it's because it was a no good, horrible, very bad day.............

1 comment:

carolyn said...

That does sound like a no good, horrible, very bad day! I'm with you on all of those things. You expect a couple of pickles, dammit, you should get those pickles! As for the exam, I put mine off every year until I can't get any more extensions on my bc, and if it's any consolation, my picture from the last renewal makes me look like I'm half stoned, because I kept blinking. Blargh!!!

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