Friday, November 30, 2012

What I Have Learned From My Spam Filter

*  Most of the world is either looking to get something implanted into their bodies or looking to sue over getting things implanted into their bodies

*  There are many bored, married women looking to have an affair with me

*  People all over the world are just waiting to send me money in order to shelter it.  Obviously, they've never heard of banks in the Cayman Islands.

*  I may have fathered an illegitimate child when I was about 5 years old, and she now wants to get in touch with me

*  The most important thing to look for in buying a watch is that it is a replica.  Not sure of what, though.

*  There are hundreds of banks just waiting to loan me $1000 and this is something I'm supposed to get excited about.

*  A good chunk of my friends have been mugged and are stranded overseas without anything except, inexplicably, internet access

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You know you've reached a whole new level of gardening when you receive a wholesale catalog.....