Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Dear World of Cooking Catalogs:

Dear World of Cooking Catalogs:

The holiday season has begun.  I know this because I have begun receiving at least two holiday-shopping catalogs every day, which is somewhat impressive in a world increasingly dependent on internet sales.  I appreciate the attention a physical catalog gives, and I'll admit--I love looking through the pages.  How else would I know that there is a $5000 espresso machine for designed for home use?  In general, I don't think I'm the sort of person who should go near anything that complicated before getting caffeine, so a $5000 machine as the source of caffeine probably isn't going to work for me, but it's nice to know I have the option.  And a combination toaster oven AND toaster?  In my limited world of existence, I always thought a toaster oven existed to REPLACE a toaster--so glad we've cleared that up.  All I have ever asked of my toasters is to produce toast something short of black & charred and to not fling the toast to the floor.  (The counter I can live with)

As much as I enjoy our time together, I feel there is something I must confess:  I have not now--nor do I ever intend--to make a bundt cake of any sort.  I know, I am not the person you thought I was.  Obviously, customers of the sort you are looking for not only make bundt cakes, they like options.  There's the blossom,

 the "Jubilee,"
the "stained glass"

the rose,

the castle,
 or the gingerbread house:
 or the trees:

Truly, I appreciate the creativity--and the storage space--of other customers, but I make maybe one cake a year, and when I do, the odds of all the ingredients in the right amounts ending up IN the cake as directed is enough of a challenge for me.  We won't even DISCUSS how often I can't get a cake to come out of a normal, flat cake pan.  If my natural cake incompetence is enhanced by a pan that needs to actually BE nonstick and/or that is really, REALLY difficult to clean, I will be a lost woman indeed.

I realize I am not the customer you thought I was and I will understand if you need to move on to a more fulfilling consumer relationship.

Best regards,

 Toni and the bundt-less household

Saturday, November 15, 2014

Lesson Learned..........

A smart woman talks with her physical therapist about how to shovel snow safely. An even smarter woman would have asked for a note excusing her from shoveling.........

Friday, November 7, 2014

Friday Thoughts

*  I think it's time to go through my sock drawer and arrange some second marriages for the sock singles.

 *  Election day seems to be the official transition from "We want your money and your vote" to "We want your money" emails. 

*  The vet who gave me the drugs I'm supposed to get Theo to take twice a day has changed their sign outside to read, "You can't out-stubborn a cat."  Coincidence???  I think not.

* I'm not sure how narcissism was diagnosed before social media, but Facebook must have sped the process up immensely. 

Sunday, November 2, 2014

Random Sunday Thoughts

*  It's amazing how much less annoying "We want your money" junk mail is compared to the "we want your vote"mail

*  If one likes to bake cookies but doesn't want to keep them around so gives them to everyone ELSE to eat, is that really the spirit of giving or is this just a master plan to get to eat cookie dough?

*   This year our neighborhood joined which is a nice way to find our which neighbors grew too much zucchini, which are paranoid, which need to get out a bit more, and which ones are why we built a fence in the first place.

*  The difference in response to when Ebola first struck in Africa in 1976 killing 151 people and 1 person dying in America this year is a bit embarrassing if one is trying to insist that racism no longer exists in the US....

*  Election season always explains why so many people failed Logic 101 in college

Fall! Finally!

Even without extremely hot summers, I've always loved fall.  A little coolness in the air, leaves starting to turn, sweaters coming out-...