Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Dear World of Cooking Catalogs:

Dear World of Cooking Catalogs:

The holiday season has begun.  I know this because I have begun receiving at least two holiday-shopping catalogs every day, which is somewhat impressive in a world increasingly dependent on internet sales.  I appreciate the attention a physical catalog gives, and I'll admit--I love looking through the pages.  How else would I know that there is a $5000 espresso machine for designed for home use?  In general, I don't think I'm the sort of person who should go near anything that complicated before getting caffeine, so a $5000 machine as the source of caffeine probably isn't going to work for me, but it's nice to know I have the option.  And a combination toaster oven AND toaster?  In my limited world of existence, I always thought a toaster oven existed to REPLACE a toaster--so glad we've cleared that up.  All I have ever asked of my toasters is to produce toast something short of black & charred and to not fling the toast to the floor.  (The counter I can live with)

As much as I enjoy our time together, I feel there is something I must confess:  I have not now--nor do I ever intend--to make a bundt cake of any sort.  I know, I am not the person you thought I was.  Obviously, customers of the sort you are looking for not only make bundt cakes, they like options.  There's the blossom,

 the "Jubilee,"
the "stained glass"

the rose,

the castle,
 or the gingerbread house:
 or the trees:

Truly, I appreciate the creativity--and the storage space--of other customers, but I make maybe one cake a year, and when I do, the odds of all the ingredients in the right amounts ending up IN the cake as directed is enough of a challenge for me.  We won't even DISCUSS how often I can't get a cake to come out of a normal, flat cake pan.  If my natural cake incompetence is enhanced by a pan that needs to actually BE nonstick and/or that is really, REALLY difficult to clean, I will be a lost woman indeed.

I realize I am not the customer you thought I was and I will understand if you need to move on to a more fulfilling consumer relationship.

Best regards,

 Toni and the bundt-less household

1 comment:

bittenbyknittin said...

Wow. I had no idea there could be so many kinds of bundt pans. I've never made a bundt cake - I'm not sure I've ever even tasted one - and the few times I've made a cake at all, it's been in an oblong pan. I don't receive many cooking catalogs, but I did get one the other day. Believe it or not, there was nothing in it I wanted to pie except for some pie weights. My kitchen must be complete.

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