Tuesday, April 28, 2015

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I Have Been Reprived!!!!!!!!

I was supposed to see the eye doctor this afternoon, but just got a call saying he was called in to emergency surgery and rescheduling my appointment.  While I am sorry for whomever is having an emergency, there is no doctor's appointment I hate more than the eye doctor--not even the gynecologist.  The gynecologist visit is unpleasant, but then it's over and you go on with the rest of your day.  But the eye doctor dilates my pupils and I can't see a blasted thing the rest of the day.  As an adult it is slightly better because I get the last appointment of the day so there are fewer hours of sunlight left and I can get whatever I need done ahead of time.  But as a kid, it had to be the very first thing we did, then I got to do all my school shopping without being able to see a damn thing, AND with the added bonus of looking like a total idiot with those cardboard shade things in my glasses..  What's more fun than that if you are the only kid in your class with glasses and your lovely little classmates call you 4-eyes--what could be better than making your glasses even MORE noticeable?  Strangers actually asked my sister if I was blind--within my hearing, so they obviously didn't think I could hear either.  Finally, she started telling them "yes," which at least made it a bit fun because then I could either negotiate my way out of the store beautifully and leave them to wonder, or flail around like the biggest melodrama ham one has ever seen.  And my eyes literally wouldn't return to normal until we were on the 2-hour drive home at night.  My mother likes to tell me how much fun those school shopping trips were, but here's the thing:  If you're having to tell people that something was fun, it wasn't.  They were long, blurry days of painful squinting and wondering why we couldn't make even one freakin' stop while I could still see.

As an adult, the first thing I actually did was to stop going to the eye doctor altogether--not a great move when one wears contacts, of course, but when you are that angry and frustrated, a break can help.  Then, when I finally had to concede that it would be best to see him at least once in a while, I could refuse the appointments that were best for the doctor and make the appointments that were best for me.  That was working, but then last year they saddled me with bifocals, taking whatever peace I had made with the eye industry and blew it to pieces.  To be fair, they didn't say I needed them THEN, but that I would need them by NOW.  And I almost do.  I don't actually need reading glasses to read yet, but the other day I was looking something up on my phone and realized that I am only months away from not being able to read my phone without assistance.  :(

As long and painful as my back/hip problems have been, they aren't age related.  But when your eyes can't read things up close, there's no pretending and there's nothing you can do about it.  And the doctor, who has to be 10 years younger than me, likes to say things like "at your age."  My gynecologist, on the other hand, tells me how young I am.  Is it any wonder that I prefer him?

1 comment:

bittenbyknittin said...

My optometrist has fancy-schmancy equipment for viewing and photographing the inside of my eyes, so dilation is no longer required - yay! Also, any doctor visit that does not involve the removal of clothes trumps the gyno, even the dentist. Need an x-ray? Wear no metal and you will need to remove no clothing.


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