Wednesday, September 12, 2007

I Married A Female Impersonator!

Andy & his friends set off for their Canadian canoing adventure on Labor Day. Why didn't I go with them? I love Andy with all my heart, but while I have faithfully promised to love, honor, and cherish him for the rest of our lives, no part of that involves 10 days away from indoor plumbing. We all have our limits.

The trip was going fine--they were seeing lots of the country, neither car had any problems, no big road construction--then Thursday Andy sent me the following text page:

"The passport I grabbed was yours! Fortunately, they let me into Canada anyway. Not sure if I will make it out again in ten days. Andy"

Canada must be a lot more relaxed than we are in the States, or perhaps gender-confused canoeists are high on their list of desirable immigrants. I text-messaged Andy back suggesting that he tell the border patrol that he went to Canada for a sex-change operation, and that the passport HAD been valid when he left. We'll see. So far my impression of the US Border Patrol is that they are singularly without a sense of humor.

I don't think I'm really a "worrier," but I am a double- and triple-checker. I would have checked to see if I had the right passport in, say, our own home. Maybe again on the outskirts of Boise. And probably one more time before getting to Minnesota. Definitely before Canada. Actually, I wouldn't have needed to check, because Andy's passport is a little creased, has stickers on it, and has obviously spent lots of time being carried around in back pockets. Mine is pristine. When I applied for a passport before our honeymoon to Cancun, mine was delayed until after our return because my first photo was rejected as being too "washed out." (One could actually argue that if I am THAT pale, there are only so many countries I could really belong to, which should lessen my need for a passport, but I digress....) By the time Kinko's took my picture a second time, assuring me that they had never before had a picture returned, and we resent my application, we had already traveled to & from Mexico with the aid of my birth certificate and driver's license. So, my passport is (was) without a crease, fold, sticker, or mark of any kind. I had rather assumed that I would be the one to use it on its christening adventure, but maybe my husband & passport will send me a postcard from Canada. Or several, as their stay may be indefinite!

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