Ravelympics - U.S. Olympic Committee Says Knitting "Denigrates" Olympic Games

You've all heard me mention the Ravelympics, which I honestly care more about than the actual Olympics themselves, but the idea was always that knitters did events to coincide WITH the Olympics in order to watch them.   Well not this year.  Today the owners of Ravelry received a "cease and desist" letter saying the name had to be changed because knitting "denigrates" their athletes.  Yeah--and using athletes to hawk products like McDonalds and Dow Chemical is standing up to the noble ideas of fair play.  Technically, it's more like prostitution--just the legal variety.  I can certainly see how knitting would sully THAT.

So, the nearly 2 million members of Ravelry are furious.  I'm technically boycotting the games--though since I never watched them in the first place, it will be hard to notice.  BUT, in the age of social media, I think they're in for a bit of a firestorm.  The first news release is up already: 

http://gawker.com/5920036/us-olympics-committee-is-mad-at-knitting-olympics-for-denigrating-real-athletes

And, since it irritates them so much for the fine "sold-to-the-highest-bidder-no-matter-what-they-sell" Olympic games:

RavelympicsRavelympicsRavelympicsRavelympicsRavelympicsRavelympics

And now, since I can't do the noble thing of selling my knitting time to the nearest environment-harming, obesity-creating company with millions, I'll just have to take my disrespectful hobby outside and knit.  Maybe I'll work on a charity project.   THAT certainly will have nothing to do with the spirit of the United States Olympic Committee.

The Ravelympics are Coming! The Ravelympics are Coming!

Some of you might remember that I had a really good time with the Ravelympics (the knitting counterpart to the Olympics) two years ago....

And it's almost time for them again!!!!!!!!!!

The mass cast-on is July 27, so I have some time to decide which events to enter.  As always, the event list cracks me up:

afghan marathon afghans, blankets 
baby dressage baby items: anything baby 
bag-n-tote backstroke bags, totes, containers 
balance beads beaded items 
cable steeplechase cables of all kinds 
cast-on trap shoot cast on mania 

RULE: 1/3 into project (% yds) completed to qualify; projects can’t cross compete in other events

charity rowing items for charity 
colourwork crosscountry colourwork, fair-isle,
cowl jump cowls, infinity scarves; things for neck joined in loop 
double-knit boxing double knit technique 
felted freestyle all things made then felted 
frogging trampoline frogging projects 

RULE: only deep hibernation projects (1+yr on needles); projects can’t cross compete in other events

hand-dye high dive hand dyeing of yarn or fiber 
handspun heptathlon spinning event: fleece/fiber to spun yarn 
hat dash hats, all things head wear 
holiday hurdles gift knitting for 2012; holiday themed items 
home stuff hammerthrow home accessories 
lace longjump laceweight or finer yarns (For thread, Size 10 thread or finer); and lace patterns 
mitten medley mittens, gloves, any hand/arm covers 
modular relay modular techniques; creating modular bits /items to use later

RULE: state your goal (ie: 20 hexipuffs; 40 dish cloths; 50 mitered blocks); projects can’t cross-compete in other events

rhythmic machinastics machine knitters event 
scarf hockey all things scarves 
shawl sailing shawls, wraps, stoles, ponchos 
single skein sprint one skein projects 
sock put socks 
swatching coxswain making proper 4x4 swatches 

RULE: must follow specific criteria (to be announced soon); projects can’t cross-compete in other events

sweater triathlon all sweaters, vest, cardigans, pullovers, shrugs, boleros 
synchronized stash busting using only stash that’s 1+yrs old 
toy toss toys, amigurumi 
weaving vault weavers event 

RULE: projects can’t cross compete in other events

wips wrestling wips only 

RULE: not touched since May 15 2012; projects can’t cross compete in other events

---

EXHIBITION SPORTS non-medal events for fun only
British Cricket all things British themed
Olympic Glory Anything with an Olympic theme. See the various patterns and books for inspiration: Olympiknits, Knitlympics for starters. Or an olympic flame, mascots…etc.
Yarn Bombing/Storming let us see what fun things crop up during the Olympics. Caveat: Please follow all local rules and regulations in your area, and get whatever permissions are needed for your installation.


Of course, the event list makes me want to do all the events now--it  even makes me want to do real, proper gauge swatches just to do something involving the word "coxswain."  We don't get to use that much out here.  It's my understanding that rowing teams tend to prefer flat, non-white water rivers, and we just don't have any of those.  You get a guy going down the river in the front of a boat facing backwards out here, and "stroke, stroke" is NOT going to be the first thing that pops into his mind to be shouting I would guess--maybe not even in the top 20.................

In Case You've Been Wondering About the Lack of Blogging......

Ravelympics 2010 - Day 15

Bob:  We're back at the 2010 Ravelympics, and after 15 grueling days, Ms. Sutton has just crossed the finish line for the Sweaterboard Cross.

Ron:  Well, I don't mind admitting that I never thought she would pull it off.  And entire sweater in 15 days--and by a woman who actually set aside a nearly-completed sweater for almost 2 entire years before sewing the sweater seams.

Bob:  You certainly make a good point, Ron.  This is well outside of Ms. Sutton's usual knitting behavior.  She has really been pushing hard during the games.

Ron:  She certainly has.  And her support team has truly been phenomenal.  Theo was on hand for the entire final push.

 

 

and her very patient husband has been cheering her on during the entire event.  
 
Bob:  Do we have a shot of him as well.

Ron:  No--apparently he has left on an "emergency white chocolate martini run," and is unavailable for comment.

Bob:  How about an interview with Ms. Sutton?

Ron:  I'm afraid when last seen, Ms. Sutton was running out the door screaming "anything but knitting!" and hasn't been seen since.  Authorities are on the lookout for her in the next three counties. They're hoping to catch her before she reaches Canada and the other Olympics games going on.


Bob:  Keep it here for continued coverage of the 2010 Ravelympics and the efforts to track down Ms. Sutton......

Crossposting

Some of you may have noticed that I have "borrowed" a couple posts from my knitting blog this week.  I thought some of you might be wondering what I do with myself when I'm not engaged in bizarre cooking experiments or spreading layers of horse manure on our lawn.  Perhaps you were thinking that I conducted myself as a "normal" person or something.  So, in order to fully dispel such a rumor, I thought I'd introduce you to the "Ravelympics."

Ravelry is a "social networking" site for people who are obsessed with enjoy knitting, crocheting, or spinning.  I actually don't really understand the term "social networking" as I don't see how one can actually unsocially network, but I can tell you that Ravelry is a tremendously cool site that allows over 600,000 knitters world wide to share pattern and yarn reviews, share project pictures and details, and to quit boring their spouses/friends with constant chatter about knitting and all things yarn related.

Not that I don't have a lot of very cool friends who don't  knit, but joining the online knitting community has been a lot of fun.  I haven't participated, but the annual Sock Wars totally crack me up.  You just have to love a group who can invent death by sock.  The Ravelympics are a funny take-off of the Olympics.  The events for this year are

• Aerial Unwind (Frog those poor unloved projects to reclaim that yarn)
  
• Bag Jump   (Bags, totes, pouches)
  
• Beading Biathlon  (All things beaded and embellished)
  
• Bobsled  (All things pets)
  
• Cable Cross-Country (All things cables)
  
• Charity Curling  (Projects for charity)
  
• Designer Biathlon  (From a swatch to published pattern in 17 days sample completed and pattern released on ravelry - swatching allowed before torch lit)
  
• Designer Original Dance (Create your own design sample from scratch in 17 days {swatching allowed before torch lit}; pattern need not be written)
  
• Designer Pattern Skeleton  (Create a publishable pattern; do what you feel is necessary to produce a publishable pattern testing, editing, etc)
  
• Downhill Dyeing  (dyeing yarns - this will only create stash)
  
• Felting Freestyle (All things felting and fulled)
  
• Fleece to FO Long-Track  (Start with fleece or roving and create a finished object)
  
• Flying Camel Spin  (Just spinning…lots and lots of spinning)
  
• Free Dance  (Don’t fit into any other event? This is for you)
  
• Giant Slalom-ghan (Afghan, blankets, throws)
  
• Hat Halfpipe (All things hats and heads)
  
• Holiday Jump-Start Skiing  (Projects to be gifted/given in Dec 2010 and holiday-themed items; also any gift-giving projects qualify here )
  
• Junior Olympics  (garments/accessories for kids and babies {toys have their own event})
  
• Labyrinth Weaving (All things woven)
  
• Lace Luge  (Lace patterns and laceweight yarns)
  
• Mitten Moguls (Mittens, gloves, anything that covers hands/wrists/arms)
  
• Nordic Colorwork Combined  (Colorwork, intarsia, fair isle)
  
• Platter Lift  (Home and décor projects)
  
• Samalog Machine Skate (Machine knitting)
  
• Scarf Super-G  (Scarves, cowls, neckwarmers, smokerings, scarflettes…all things neck)
  
• Short Track Shawls  (Shawls, stoles, wraps, shawlettes)
  
• Single Skein Speed Skate (Projects of just one skein/hank)
  
• Skelegurumi  (Toys and amigurumis)
  
• SnowCross  (Projects that combine knitting, crochet, needle-felting, embroidery, sewing …; minimum of 2 crafts combined together)
  
• Sock Hockey  (All things socks and slippers)
  
• Stash Compulsory Dance  (Use of long-neglected stash purchased at least 1 year ago)
  
• Sweaterboard Cross (All forms of sweaters, vests, cardis, pullovers, boleros)
  
• WIPs-Dancing  (WIPs/UFOs and only these; Projects not touched since Jan 12th)
  

There are now more than 9,000 competitors, with more joining every day.  Bobicus Maximus--otherwise known as the site owner's dog, Bob--will be handing out "medals" for the event, and there will be a "parade" of finished projects.  I am competing in the Sweaterboard Cross, and in case you haven't already guessed as much, trying to knit an entire sweater in 17 days really is few sandwiches short of a picnic.  But, not like insanity has ever stopped me before......

Ravelympics 2010 - Pregame Show: The Countdown.....

Bob:  With just hours to go before the torch-lighting for the 2010 Ravelympics, we take a look at some of the last-minute preparations being done by one of the contestants.  Ms. Sutton, thank you for taking time to talk with us this morning.  Tell us, what sorts of things are you doing today?
 
Toni:  Well, Bob, first I did a little dusting.

Bob:  Now I notice you're chosen to use Endust at this point.  Are you mostly a spray-polish duster?

Toni:  Well, generally I'm a "this-is-a-big-freakin'-waste-of-time" sort of duster, but I thought the house might be a bit frightening two weeks from now.

Bob: I see.  I notice you've been accumulating a few things today.  Can you tell us about them?


Toni: Certainly, Bob.  First there's some hand lotion

--always a necessity for any type of knitting marathon, especially here in the drier climates.  And of course a large supply of coffee

 

to help me keep my focus.

Bob:  Now I've noticed some knitters can drink coffee nonstop without impeding their performance.  Are you one of them?

Toni:  Well, Bob, you don't get to this level of competition without some caffeine addiction. However, I do have my limits, so if I start to get the jitters we have a supply of herbal teas on hand

and for when things get really desperate....

 

 Bob:  My, that's a really large bottle of champagne, there...

Toni:  Victory party, Bob.  Or possibly the being-released-from-the-hospital-after-a-complete-nervous-breakdown-party.  These things can go either way.  

Bob:  Now this brings up an interesting point.  Will the Ravelympics participants be drug tested?

Toni:  It's doubtful, Bob, as drugs are often quite necessary to even feel it would be possible to knit an entire sweater in 16 days.  Over at the "Fleece to FO Long Track" tent, where the competitors will be spinning their own yarn AND turning it into a finished object, I'd say some sort of stimulant is almost a certainty.

Bob:  I see.  And what are these other objects in your pile.

Toni:  When knitting for leisure, I can often read a book while knitting, but it slows down my time.  Speed is of the essence here, so I'll need a few things to keep my mind busy while I work.  For more serious moments, 

we have the COMPLETE Jane Austen movie collection--the BBC version, not the "adapted" A & E version--I'm always a purist about these things--and for the lighter moments,

the complete first 3 seasons of "Rocky and Bullwinkle."  There's nothing like a little Sherman and Mr. Peabody to keep one inspired.

Bob:  Now, Ms. Sutton, we understand that you have two cats--is that correct?

Toni:  That is correct. 

Bob  Cute as they may be, cats can often pose a real problem for knitters--how do you plan to handle that?

Toni:  Well, I've taken a few precautions there as well.....

Bob:  Oh, I see.  Well, you certainly have thought of everything.  We certainly wish all the competitors well as they complete their final preparations.  Less than 8 hours to go now....... 

2010 Ravelympics - Pregame Show

Ron:  With less than 24 hours until the 2010 Ravelympics kickoff, we're here with one of the contestants.  Ms. Sutton, what you can tell us about this year's competition?

Toni:  Well Ron, to date there are more than 8300 knitters from around the world signed up and ready to compete.  Some will be competing on multiple events--such as perhaps the Scarf Super-G as well as Sock Hockey--while some of us are tackling a single, larger project.


Ron:  So participants have 16 days to complete their events.  That's a lot of pressure for what many of us would consider a grandmotherly-sort of sport.

Toni:  Don't let the stereotypes fool you.  Anyone who has ever witnessed the carnage at a 50%-off sale of cashmere yarn can tell you, knitting is not for the timid.


Ron:  You're signed up for the Sweaterboard Cross and the Stash Compulsory Dance, which--let me get this straight--is an ENTIRE sweater made from stash yarn within 16 days.  Is that correct?

Toni  Yes, Ron, it sure is.


Ron:  16 days--that's a pretty big challenge.  To attempt such an extreme knitting feat, is there training involved, or some sort of practice or preparation involved?

Toni:  Definitely.  This is not something to be attempted by the first-time knitter.


Ron  What sort of training goes in to preparing for the Ravelympics.

Toni:  Well, first the knitter has to learn to set ridiculous goals with incredibly tight time frames.  Most of us achieve this by deciding to knit a Christmas sweater or afghan around December 1.  Not every knitter can make it.  Most don't--many spend Christmas eve with 4 pots of coffee and a nervous tic in one eye to get there.  It's a grueling training process.  Often there are tears...occasionally the knitting project will be savagely flung into a food processor out of frustration.  Definitely not a sport for the timid.

Ron:  With just under 24 hours before the mass cast-on, tensions are running high.  Stay with us for our continuing LIVE coverage of the 2010 Ravelympics......

Well, We Obviously Have Some Catching Up To Do

Tonight I decided to check out upcoming events at the Egyptian Theater--one of Boise's few independent theaters and the only one listed as an historic landmark--because it always seems to have really great events. Last month we went to see a couple silent movies as a fundraiser for the Treasure Valley Youth Symphony, and we've been to several lectures there.

I was surprised to see that on March 18, the THIRD ANNUAL Fly Fishing Tour will be held there. Now I might be easily impressed, but how many hobbies have their own film festival? Andy does woodworking, and they certainly don't have a film festival (although that might actually be because there are few titles the wood working world could use that couldn't be misappropriated by the porn industry). I knit, and while the knitting world has its own social networking site and our own conventions, I don't know of a single film about knitting. (You can bet, though, that if we did have a film festival, we would leave some dim lights on in the theater so everyone could knit while watching). I don't know--maybe we're falling behind. I think we need our own film festival.

To get us kicked off in the right direction, my suggestions for the first Knitting Film Festival:

* Chariots of Fiber
* Adam's Ribbing
* Blazing Saddle Shoulders
* Close Encounters of the Felted Kind
* Dr. Strageknit or: How I learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Test Swatch
* Driving Miss Daisy Crazy or: Learn to Check For Errata
* Fatal Attraction to Fun Fur
* Gone With The Wool
* The Good, The Bad, and the Frogged
* A Lace of Their Own
* A Sweater To Three Wives
* Merinostruck
* Of Moths and Men
* The Patternist
* Rebel Without a Skein
* The Sweater Year Itch
and that perennial favorite:

You've Got Mailorder

I think it could be BIG......

I CAN SHOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Really, in general I am not much of a shopper and usually break into open hostility when drug along to the mall on a weekend, but after 90 days of not buying anything but food, it feel marvelous. Wonderful. Refreshing. I'm going to have to see if banning myself from cleaning the house has this sort of effect.....

It's 6:47 AM and through the miracle of the internet, I have spent $10.57 on 2 hanks of yarn to finish this:
which from the picture could be anything--most likely some sort of bag--but it will be a shawl, and when I started it about a year ago, I somehow didn't use the yarn I had purchased specifically for it and which there was enough of, but instead chose a yarn that I had bought for something else & which there was not enough of. Guess what I didn't learn until after the spending ban had begun? That was an easy one, wasn't it?

The thrill of entering my credit card number, updating my shipping information because I'm on a year-long yarn buying ban (except if it is to finish a project that I started without knowing I would need to buy more yarn--closing a loophole that I would totally have exploited by now) and hadn't ordered from them in so long that my information was no longer current, and now knowing that sometime in the next few weeks there will be a box outside my door containing yarn....!!!!!!!!! I don't even need to spend the remaining $89.43--I've just had the most satisfying retail experience of my life!

I have achieved a little personal growth--or knowing I will have to be fessing up on the blog later does stop me from doing the really embarrassing once in a while. The website in question offers free shipping on orders over $50. Normally, as it's yarn and I am completely delusional about how fast I can knit, I would have thrown in some yarn for a sweater (they did, in fact, have a hunter green wool that I think would make a nice sweater for Andy--I'm totally selfless if I get to buy yarn), or maybe some sock yarn, or some laceweight yarn because it's small and doesn't take up much space, and to avoid paying $2.99 in shipping costs, I would have purchased another $45-75 in yarn. Whew, money choices like that--I should go into politics!!!!!

$89.43 to go!

Day 70 - The Downslide!!!!!

Even with my 8-day penalty for that darn mohair (for this quite fabulous shawl, thank you very much)it's less than a month until the spending ban is over!!!!! Hallelujah!!!! Hallelujah!!!! I have NO idea what I'll actually buy when it's over, but just the thought of something--anything--new is glorious!

And on a totally unrelated note, one of the great mysteries of the summer has been solved. When planting the garden, I planted 3 types of squash in one end of a garden bed--one hill for each type. Out of the three, one came up. A smart person might have paid attention to which squash she planted where, as most squash leaves look pretty much the same in their infant state. Undaunted, I planted a butternut squash & a pumpkin in another area--for some reason deciding it was most likely the spaghetti squash that had survived. I don't know why--I've never grown spaghetti squash before, so I had no reason to assume it was hardier than anything else, but my gardening decisions are rarely, if ever, tempered by logic.

A few months later, Mystery Squash has a squash:
I think it looks a bit like a pumpkin personally. That is truly unfortunate, as this behemoth
is also a pumpkin plant. Oops. I did want to learn to cook with pumpkin this year, but two people and two pumpkin plants?????!!!!!! Heaven help us!

A totally unrelated question: Would creeping up to a stranger's front door at 2:00 AM and leaving squash-related items said door count as trespassing????

Day 20 - The Closest I'll Be To Shopping For A While

Since I have extended MY spending ban for 8 additional days, this
is no longer off-limits, so I have moved forward on the edging:

(The odd-color bits of yarn will be coming off. I am known to do a lot of odd things, but making lace shawls with random bits of miss-matched yarn isn't one of them).


IT FEELS FABULOUS TO HAVE SOMETHING NEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


There is such an emotional rush to getting a package in the mail! Besides just the thrill of getting anything in the mail that isn't addressed to "occupant" or asking for money, even when I know what is supposed to be in the package, it's still a huge thrill. When it's yarn....well, then it's close to a religious experience.

Theo didn't experience quite the same level of excitement, however......

Day 14 - CONTRABAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The new yarn arrived last night:

It was so exciting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And feels SO sinful!!!!! Aside from the 90-day spending ban (reset to August 18 for me because of this yarn), I have been on a "yarn & fabric diet" all of 2008, so I haven't gotten any new yarn since DECEMBER. Illicit mohair--it just doesn't get any better......

Day 8 - Some Interference from Realtiy

I blame it on Jane Sowerby.

This is a lovely knitting book:
The pictures are beautiful and are coffee-table-book worthy. Visually, it's a wonderful book. Unfortunately, knitters tend to have a few hangups about knitting books. It's fine and dandy to show them lovely pictures of shawls, but if , with the aid of said book, the knitter cannot recreate any of the patterns, the knitter will probably get really cranky.

Right now, I'm one of those really cranky knitters.

There are two problems with this book. One is the number of mistakes in the book. Now a great way to mess with a knitter's mind is to mistype the directions on a complicated lace pattern. Knitters are usually in awe of "designers" and will berate themselves for not being able to make the pattern come out correctly. It usually takes a couple hours, language that would embarrass even Hollywood, and several repeated attempts before the knitter realizes that it is the BOOK that is wrong, not the knitter. While being right does not make up for the lost 3 hours of your life you just spent getting to this conclusion, it does help a little.

This book, however, has a second more unique problem. For the average knitter, the patterns grossly underestimate the amount of yarn required to finish the project.

If yarn were like anything else in the world, this might not be a problem, but some knitters, being trusting souls, bought the stated yardage in a rare yarn that they encountered at a fiber festival (yep, such things exist). Sometimes they have spun their OWN yarn from hand-dyed fiber, which would be impossible to recreate. Sometimes they have scored a fabulous laceweight yarn on clearance, which they will never be able to find again. Sometimes they can find the yarn but not the dye lot, which means the new yarn won't exactly match the yarn they already have, creating very interesting shading problems on the knitting. Sometimes they declare stupid spending bans that don't allow them to buy anything new for 90 days.

This is what I have so far:

It's hard to photograph a lace shawl while still on the needles, but this is a wonderfully soft mohair with just a tiny bit of sparkle to it. I still have two rows on the body to do and then an edging all over the entire shawl to do, and I have this much yarn left:

I'm not going to make it.

Feeling really nervous after the pajama episode (when having foolishly NOT consulted the pattern, I came home with 1/2 a yard short of this:
which I could not locate after the December spending ban lifted, leaving Andy with:
pajama bottoms and no pajama top, and leaving me with a little bitterness toward the entire fabric industry--but that's another story), I checked online for this yarn.

It is being discontinued, but there are still a few balls available.

Option 1: Don't order the yarn, and have wasted $80 on really expensive mohair that can't be ripped back because when you knit mohair, all the little wisps of mohair lock together to form an insane bond that Scotch tape can only envy.

Option 2: Alter the pattern to do a much simpler border, thereby changing the entire look of the shawl which was the whole reason to make it in the first place.

Option 3: Wait anxiously until the ban has lifted, then hope and pray that I can find the dang yarn, which worked so freaking well for me with the pajama incident.

Option 4: Persuade someone ELSE to order the yarn for me and hold it until the ban has lifted, thereby proving I have indeed lost my mind entirely.

Option 5: Order the yarn, thereby breaking 2 bans (the 90-day ban AND the self-imposed "No New Yarn or Fabric" ban) and admitting that I was beaten by little miss Sowerby and her lack of test knitters.

[Note: I'm sure Ms. Sowerby is truly a lovely person, and I freely admit that my heartfelt desire to kick her in the shins at this moment is MY issue, not hers]

My loving spouse and I had a conference, and we have decided that we are both allowed 2 exceptions during this time frame, and that the exceptions truly must be special case scenarios, and that we both have to agree to them. So tonight I ordered the yarn.

Blast it!

But I'm NOT going to open that darn box until AFTER the spending ban has lifted. Little Miss Sowerby can only push me so far.....

Day 3 - What We Would Have Bought So Far

3 days down out of 90, and so far we would have purchased:

1. paint (for the office--I think it needs a little stenciling)

2. a stencil (to be fair, I said I could make one out of cardboard, though Andy has some doubts. The man has played Pictionary with me, after all)

3. wooden knitting needles - size 9 (some yarns are just too slippery for metal needles, unless one is into knitting for the swearing opportunities)

4. more flowers (I have a flower pot in the back yard that I forgot, so I'm attempting zinnias from seeds, but buying plants makes me look like a better gardener)

Not bad, though I'm not sure there's any real "personal growth" being achieved by not buying these particular items (especially considering all the swearing).....



And on a side note--the He-Man Duct-tape bandaids were on a little side-bar of the regular bandaid isle at Fred Meyer (Kroger) grocery store. Sounds like a lot of men will be getting them for Christmas........:)

The Online Knitting World Really is Entertaining

While technically I am a member of "Generation X" and we are the first true computer generation (punch cards do not count), I still find it a bit odd sometimes that there are actual communities that exist only "online." While I, in fact, have gotten totally "hip" and "with it" and am part of the virtual knitting world [laughter finally fades], I still struggle with the idea that I "know" people--what they are knitting on, how many tetanus shots they have had to get after impalement by sock needles, whether they are "natural fiberists" or "acrylic lovers" (a VERY hot topic amongst knitters--a guaranteed cure for insomnia amongst anyone else), the yarns they would be tempted to sell their spouses for--yet I have no idea what they actually look like or whether they are really doing all that knitting themselves. Maybe they have stunt doubles? Which isn't actually a bad idea when working with any needles smaller than size 2, come to think of it....

Why would I join such an online community? Because they are an insatiably fun & clever group. Today a very clever knitter announced "Murder by Lace," which sounds like a Victorian Novel or perhaps a newspaper headline regarding someone finally pushed over the edge by the Mystery Stole 3. It's actually based on SOCK WARS--a world-wide game last year where knitters "killed" each other by knitting socks & mailing them to their "victim" before the "victim" could send theirs off to his or her intended victim. Blogs across the world carried "death by sock" pictures and it was featured in several newspapers. I believe no lasting injuries were received, unless you count receiving pink lacy socks.

Murder by Lace will require participants to email pictures to the judge, and the first picture received in each group will kill off all the other members of that group. As much as the Type A in me LOVES the idea of competitive knitting, I won't be participating. Since I work full time, I would be nothing but a sitting (knitting?) duck, and I just can't ask my company for time off so I can murder someone with knitting. I think that would be a fast track to unemployment. :(

Updates

1. So Far, So Good
Bananas has made it safely to the first mail drop and has updated her journal here. She has met a lot of other hikers on the trail, including one with the inexplicable trail name "Cannibal." I'm sure there's a story behind that one, but all the same, I think I'd be sleeping with one eye open.....

2. Dem Fischer Sin Fru
The final clue came out today. Good thing, too, because when I finally get past clue 1, I'm sure I'll just tear right through the next 6. It's a beautiful pattern (I will post pictures of the final project eventually--can you hang on until 2009?) based on/inspired by the old fairy story, The Fisherman and His Wife. That was my favorite Grimms Brothers story--the old man frees a flounder from his net & it grants him wish after wish, at his wife's request, and she's never satisfied & just gets more demanding. Finally the flounder takes everything away from them.

3. Ex-Wife Issues
I have no idea if the ex-wife repellent is working or not, but now a lot of people are hitting the blog looking for ways to cope with hostile ex-wives, and there has been a huge response. So, I will be adding some future posts about ideas, coping mechanism, advice we received, father's rights. This isn't going to turn into a site about divorce, but I don't think anyone should have to go through this type of thing alone. If anyone has ideas, tips, advice--anything to share, please let me know. One note: I know how frustrating and draining it can be to continually cope with someone who is totally consumed with hate, but only constructive ideas are going to be posted. This is about how to cope and finding options--not about bashing the ex. That which makes you angry controls you. A friend of ours stumbled across a blog by Andy's ex, and it's all about how awful he is & picks apart stuff on my blog, and while the obsessive fixation 4 years later is a bit worrying, what she actually says about Andy & about us is irrelevant--she can't send the venomous letters to us any longer, and obviously has no one who will listen to her, and she's just jealous & angry that Andy is happy & that no one cares what she thinks any longer. The opposite of love isn't hate--it's indifference. As a person, she just doesn't matter.

4. I Joined Another Knit-Along (KAL)
I will be seeking therapy--do you think they treat over-optimistic crafting???? And, in my best "enabler" spirit, it's this one. My theory is, if you take people with you, it's a little less insane. It closes on March 25, uses fingering yarn and size 7 needles (for non-knitters, this is a much bigger needle size than KALs usually use, so it will theoretically go faster--or would if you didn't have 58 other projects going at the same time).

5. Eating
I finally had one of my chocolate cinnamon bears (thanks Ellen!) and I thought they were pretty good. Andy didn't like them, but had two. (I didn't ask). Cinnamon and chocolate are such an unusual combination that it was a pretty unexpected taste, but it was REALLY good to have a cinnamon bear again.
When I eat things that are obviously pretty processed, my stomach hurts, I feel more sluggish, and I feel hungrier about 2 hours later than I should. To be honest, I did not expect that there would be much of a difference--either eliminating the processed foods or having them again--so if anything, I was biased the other way, but even at the risk of permanently giving up a lot of foods I really enjoy, I feel better when they're out of my life. *sigh*

Anyone have any thoughts on how to make oatmeal taste like cinnamon bears?

Day 28 - ONE MORE DAY

First, obviously I didn't get the website access shut down last night--it takes a long time to get all the allowed email addresses typed in, but I am hoping to finish tonight. I will be leaving the knitting blog open to the public--if a snooping exwife who needs to get a job, get a life, and move on wants to read about my knitting....well then she's more pathetic than I thought. My other thought was to start posting our wedding pictures on every single post and writing about things she probably WOULDN'T want to read--like our sex life--but let's say it all together.....EWWWWWW! Don't worry--I didn't take that personally--no matter what the Google search engines think, this is not THAT sort of blog! :)

IF YOU WANT TO KEEP FOLLOWING THIS BLOG, I WILL NEED YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS OR YOUR BLOGGER USER NAME AND I WILL SEND YOU AN INVITATION. If you do link to this blog, you may want to link directly to my profile page--I'll put instructions for getting an invitation to view the blog. Basically, I'll add anyone to the approved list provided it isn't an obsessed woman who won't leave my husband alone even 4 years after the divorce. The link to email for permission is already in place.

I think I have been extremely patient with this woman--I have tried being nice to her, and met with vicious accusations. I have been kind to her son and done the parenting she does not do, but we finally could no longer deal with her hostility, verbal abuse (quite often in front of her son), and manipulations. Yesterday uncovered people across the country who had been stalked and/or harassed by vicious exwives, and I know several other men who have gone through this, so in my first, and probably only, political post, it is time to really start speaking up about women as harassers and harassment by ex-spouses in general. We have 4 years of hateful & abusive letters and emails--and documentation of calls at work, scenes at dropoffs, spiteful parenting, etc. (not to mention the excessive medical bills and ongoing legal costs for problems she's creating but that we have to pay for), the "parent alienation" (the hostile spouse saying bad things about the other spouse to the child which happens so often that they have a legal term for it but don't do anything about) --all of which has been copied to our attorney and later this month will be sent to several legislators that I know. If you know someone who has had to endure similar treatment--document it and start calling politicians. Not all single moms are in that situation because their husbands left them for younger women--many were driven away by verbal and mental abuse and they deserve to be protected from further abuse.


OK, pardon me while I step off the soapbox........umph

Andy came home from the store with this:


CONTRABAND!!!! It's actually for making the food for Bananas on her hiking trip, but all the same, it was quite strange to find boxes & bags in our kitchen again. Look at these--not a single one looks like recognizable food.

The pi shawl is done and blocked!!!


And furred!

I could barely keep him off the sheet long enough to pin the shawl--

As we say now, he was as obsessed as an ex-wife with a blog line!!!! :)

Day 16 - WE GOT PIZZA!!!!!!

Last night, after THOROUGHLY checking the ingredients and nutritional information for our local gourmet pizza shops, we ordered an allowable pizza!!!! To a woman who had tuna salad for breakfast AND lunch yesterday, this was like winning the lottery!!!

Yeah baby, walking on the wild side....

Uh huh.

And update time, because I've been a little remiss...

For Valentine's Day, Andy--the most romantic man I've ever known--decorated the house with a trail of cards & gifts (constructed with YARN since I'm not buying any new yarn all year), and these were among the trail's stops:



There's a man who REALLY knows how to woo his wife! 13 more days and I can actually have those cinnamon bears!!!!

My gift to Andy included, among other things,


Ain't love grand?

And in a totally unrelated update, my dem fischer sin fru is making progress


albeit slowly. I'm still on clue one and clue 4 came out yesterday, and my goal is to only be 3 clues behind, so I need to get cracking before next week's clue. In the files section of the group there's actually a second project for people to work on while they're waiting for the next clue to come out, just in case it wasn't humiliating enough to just be behind.

To be fair, I have been working on other things (that's my excuse & I'm sticking to it). The tie-dye pi shawl is almost done and I'm just adding the edging--I say "just," because it's small in comparison to the rest of the shawl, but it's about 1200 rows of knitting. (I try not to think about that part).

Because of the strangeness of the striping effect of the yarn, I couldn't find an edging that worked (though Andy can attest to the attempts--and the swearing), I made one up. Luckily, it seems to be working--or I'm just deluding myself in an attempt to get it finished. I'm willing to go either way.

Lazarus

Remember this one? The MS3 Mystery Stole with the red beady eyes and one asymmetrical wing that is based on an evil ballet character?
Yeah, that one.

It's back.

Not that I've grown any fonder of it during our time apart, but I only have one clue left and, above all else, I want my knitting needles back. (The things I will go through for some #4 bamboos.....)

So it has been rechristened "Lazarus" (which is a whole lot nicer than it's previous names--"beaded knitting abyss," "stupid-ass bird shawl," and "the beady thing") because frankly, no one thought it would ever see the light of day again.

Obviously, when I fall out of love with something, I REALLY fall out of love with it. For those of you feeling a bit nervous for Andy at this point, let me assure you that all is still wonderful, though if he ever sprouts one wing, gets beady red eyes, and starts dancing around the house as the evil queen from Swan Lake, I am SERIOUSLY going to rethink things.....

I am a Slow, Slow Learner

Today is the kickoff of the dem-fischer-sin-fru, which is not a German festival, but another Mystery Stole knit-a-long (KAL). When someone first mentioned it, I was firm--this is The Year of the Stash (see the "A Little Yarn on the Side" link for that one). I have plans, and I still haven't finished the MS3 Mystery Stole, which has been banished to the back of the closet where all bad knitting projects end up.

Then someone else mentioned it.....

And someone else...

Last night was the final time to sign up before it was closed and the clock was ticking and......I joined. I am so weak!

I can just hear my mother's voice, "If all your friends jumped off a cliff, would you jump off too?"

Why yes, apparently I would, provided there was yarn involved.....

Day 12 - Black Friday

The Secret Santa problem is almost solved! There are perks to having a bin full of half-finished projects. Look, it's a half-finished snowman!!!
He's cute, he's inexpensive, and he can be done by December 12!