Happy New Year!

Happy New Year from Château Sutton-Goar

Santa made a surprise appearance at the Château last year, bringing Andy an acoustic parlor (smaller body) guitar and  me a 12-string, so there has been a lot of music here this year—and more than a few discussions about how many guitars two people actually need, though these discussions are quickly scrapped when either the sewing room or the third bay of the garage known as the Wood Shop are mentioned.  No one, however, is allowed to take up the tuba.

Andy has always been interested in photography, and this year purchased a better digital camera to play with.  On one of the first outings with a camera, while Andy tried to get just the right shot of a goose with her gosling, I fended off another goose, presumably her agent, who wanted to A) bite, and B) talk royalties.  A day on the motorcycle with the camera has become a favorite weekend activity for him, and over Thanksgiving he took some wonderful pictures of my aunt and uncle and their family at the ranch, so it's really been a fun hobby for everyone—except perhaps that goose.

The garden and I had a decent relationship this year.  Lousy tomatoes, but truly exuberant cucumbers, which worked out rather well as I was running low on pickles, and we valiantly defended the pumpkin plant from the squash bugs after learning that planting zucchini as a decoy didn't work.  I actually planted two zucchini, for reasons I no longer remember or even understand, and believe me when I say that zucchini-carrot jam didn't sound remotely strange after everything else we made, though other people do seem to find bits of vegetable on their toast a bit weird.  Go figure......

The ongoing hip/back issues continue to dominate my life, but my biggest news is that my physical therapist said I don't need her anymore!  While she's still on speed-dial in case of “mishaps” or “over-optimism,” I continue to make progress.  Some activities are forever off-limits (certain types of lifting), but most things are probably possible.  The best approach is to try something in a small amount, see if my hip is stable, then gradually increase the time or try a new exercise for stability.  Of course, the approach I usually use is the “dive right in” version, which really backfired with my attempt at lawn mowing.  I think the straight passes were fine, but I hadn't thought through turning around.  We'll start smaller next year.  It will never be fixed exactly, and sitting will always be difficult and best avoided, but the daily exercises and stretches are helping me control it and I'm starting to get back to what my therapist describes as “half of a normal life.”   Though I'm not sure we've ever managed a “normal” life anyway, I am hoping to continue to make progress and regain whatever passes for a normal life for us.

In fact, I have made so much progress that we did a little traveling this year:  In February, we visited Andy's parents in California, then met up with most of his family in June in Colorado for a wedding reception and trip to the Colorado Renaissance Festival.  Then in October it was off to New York to attend our first Italian wedding—a wonderful event stretching 3 days and involving lots of celebrating, dancing,  and enough food to have amazed either of my grandmothers--which is saying something.  We also visited the Statue of Liberty and revisited Ellis Island, Central Park, and the Metropolitan Museum of Art.  We also discovered a brilliant Italian market where one can buy a glass of wine WHILE grocery shopping.  Idaho has much to learn.....

We close with a picture of a costume dinner we attended—Andy and I doing our best Cary Grant and Sophia Loren impressions.  Hey, we can always dream...............

Things we have learned this year:

* Unless you're a real free-thinker about oatmeal, it's best to not keep the cinnamon right next to the taco seasoning
*  “I'll just pop in to Costco on the way” might be the silliest thing I've ever said on a Friday afternoon.
* It's amazing what a sense of victory it is to only get slight burns when attempting to use a glue gun.
*  We've replaced a lot of appliances, but I'm still grudgingly impressed when a coffee maker can find an entirely new way to break—like having the automatic grinder start randomly going off whenever.  I have a soft spot for creativity.
* Dried dates burn much faster in the microwave than one might think.
*  It's a mark of human optimism that the word “zucchini” even has a singular.
*  Those who joke about their cats being “senior kitties” are going to spend 45 minutes catching the mouse let loose under the Christmas tree skirt.
*  Sorting boxes is fairly easy by now—if we haven't seen it in 9 years, it probably isn't necessary.
*  Cats with stress issues are a leading cause of humans with stress issues.
*  I had sort of assumed that by the time I reached my 40s I'd be able to stay clean for an entire day.
*  One might never have too many tomatoes, but one can definitely have too many green beans
* Stocking up on Christmas cards after Christmas was a great idea.  Remembering where I put them would have been brilliant.
*  Three years later and my cheekbone can STILL find more features on my smartphone than I can.
*  When it's over 100 degrees, I am not to be trusted with questions like, “how short would I like my bangs?”
*  Ants can move surprisingly fast when one has just dug into their home.
*  We didn't receive a single seed catalog this year.  It seems my fame has spread.........
*  Admitting that one is never actually going to reread Dostoevsky is very freeing—and clears up bookshelf space
*  Begging seems to help when trying to convince the computers and printers to all play nicely.
*  When the garden is in full swing, there's no such thing as a small salad.
*  I do not know a curse strong enough for the wretches who came up with the cherry-flavoring for Robitussin.
*  Reading glasses tend to work best when one can find them.
*  Fast for two weeks before attending a 3-day Italian wedding—and two months afterwards.
*  Getting an extra month of gardening does not necessarily translate into an extra month of interest IN gardening.
*  No matter how hard one might try to enhance the color of a photo, some of us really are just that pale
*  It turns out the SMART thing to do would be to see if one can actually open a finished project—for instance, a wooden pepper grinder—before mailing them all out as Christmas gifts.
*  If you have sent out Christmas gifts that no one will be able to open, you can tell when each one is opened by the phone calls looking for instructions, help, or possibly a can of spinach.
*  Nothing inspires the misbehavior of a furnace like a 10-degree morning
*  Taking turns making Christmas gifts generally works out well, or would if either of us were at all realistic about the time required to make things.
*  You can't out-stubborn a cat.
*  Buying “Happy Holidays” cards works out well for those of us who might not get them out before Christmas.

Wishing you a wonderful holiday and a healthy 2016,
Toni & Andy

Merry Christmas!

Happy Holidays – finally!

As you probably noticed, there was no 2012 holiday letter. So a brief recap on the last TWO years:

In 2012, Andy took up the bass guitar, painted the sewing room and built some seriously beautiful shelves for me, and designed and built us a greenhouse. In August my father was hospitalized with an advanced staph infection, he spent 5 weeks in hospitals here in Boise while my mother lived with us, and he not only fully recovered from the infection—he survived Blue Cross of Idaho, which is even more remarkable. I began the year attempting to get my back/hip straightened out, joined a congressional campaign for a few months, spent 5 weeks trying to cope with my inability to cope with hospitals, due to all the stress ended up back in physical therapy as soon as my father was released, managed to sprain my back while doing physical therapy, and ended 2012 even less mobile than at the start.

This year has continued to be dominated by my back problems, but in June we were able to travel to Indiana to Andy's family's farm for a reunion and last “hurrah” before the farm was auctioned. We had a great time, and I got to meet the rest of Andy's family AND saw my very first fireflies. Thanks to GPS, we also got to see a great deal of Indiana farmland, which was interesting to me because the thought of farmland that needs drainage to cope with too much water is a bit hard to fathom—especially this year. The huge lawns still have me a bit baffled, but I can only guess that riding lawn mowers are very, very popular back there.

In August I started seeing a physiatrist for my back and acquired my third physical therapist. This time I am being treated less for the initial injury and more for the subsequent injuries and the effects of 2 years of pain. It turns out that, while my body has made no effort whatsoever to adapt to the increase in summer temperatures over the last few years, it cheerfully changed my walk and stance to accommodate the hip problem, which actually compounded the problem. So, in addition to therapeutic massage and some new core-building exercises that are a lot harder than my old ones, I have to relearn to walk and stand and am still learning “body mechanics”--usually the hard way. The hardest thing to get used to is how important it is to avoid pain. This probably sounds sort of self-explanatory (unless one played high school sports and constantly heard “no pain, no gain”), but when muscles have been knotted from pain for two years and the therapist has just worked those knots out, they knot back up VERY easily and getting into pain can wipe out two to six weeks of therapy in one shot. So, I'm trying to learn to rest frequently, avoid sitting and any travel for a while, and every week discuss with my physical therapist what I have done and what I think I will be doing the following week, and she tells me either what I have already done wrong or what I am about to do wrong. They aren't as obvious as one would think, as the latest thing-I-do-wrong was to wrap gifts while seated on the floor. As I had just spent the week decorating the house for Christmas and been very careful about the stepladder and reaching and lifting, I had honestly believed wrapping was an easy thing. But it turns out it's quite bad for anyone with hip or back problems. It's like an ongoing pop quiz for which one doesn't even know what book to study, but I do progress. While there are things I will never be able to do again and I still have a very long way to go, I am down to once-a-week appointments, which will continue into the next year, and I am finally starting to have a few normal days again—or as normal as we get around here.

Andy is still telecommuting, with occasional trips to the main office in California—usually during the coldest periods here which he swears are just purely coincidental. Following his sister's lead, he's training to extend his twice-yearly half-marathons to a full marathon, and is making great progress but isn't quite there yet. As souvenirs, he made wooden pens out of walnut from the Indiana farm for all his aunts and uncles, has learned to turn wooden wine goblets, and made a wooden music stand with the opening notes of “As Time Goes By” inlaid in stone for me. His latest woodworking project is building an electric mandolin from a kit, which looks like a miniature electric guitar. The trio he's been playing with each Christmas has named itself for the song they played last year, “Trio de Schlittenfahrt.” While it really means “three German dances,” things sound much funnier in German.

We continue with our gardening adventures (a.k.a vole wars), and after they finished off the fava beans and most of the cilantro, I finally got so desperate to get rid of the little monsters that I dreamed up the brilliant idea of boarding our cats while we were in Indiana so I could put down poison without risk to the cats. It does seem to have cut down on the voles, but so stressed out one of our cats that Theo is on permanent medication for stress-related urinary problems, and had to be on anti-depressants during our entire trip. So far, every time Andy travels for work, Theo requires a trip to the vet for pain medication, even though he largely ignores Andy's existence when he is home. All things considered, just letting the voles have the garden would have been a lot less stressful for everyone concerned. 

 

Things I've learned in the past TWO years:

• There are basically 2 gardening seasons: “Please grow” and “Please die.”

• There will always be people who assert that heart disease isn't linked to weight, but the size of the furniture in the hospital's cardiac ward proves otherwise

• Sadly, doing one's physical therapy exercises faithfully is a really good way to surprise one's physical therapist

• I don't know which pain pills are the addictive ones, but I am quite an expert on the ones that cause nausea and give one ulcers

• A good way to get ALL your tomatoes to grow is to expect half of them to die

• Nothing unsticks a stuck sprinkler faster than giving it a human target

• When a doctor tells you “no running” on a treadmill, it seems he also means “do not increase the incline and go at the fastest pace you can.” Go figure.

• If it's in a new greenhouse, even spinach is exciting

• I was rather proud when I broke the “unbreakable” therapy band the first physical therapist gave me, but by the time the third one broke, it was just about getting flipped by a 6-inch wide rubber band and a huge bruise

• Cats may sleep 18 hours a day, but this doesn't prevent them from developing stress issues

• Nothing makes one more popular with one's gardening friends than to be the only one who didn't grow zucchini

• Just because there are places that specialize in boarding cats, it doesn't mean it's a good idea

• While killing off the voles would be nice, I am willing to settle for driving them into the neighbor's yard

• It's a good thing I didn't choose to go into espionage. I don't know how I would fare with actual torture, but an extra 5 minutes of therapeutic massage alone would have me singing like a canary

• It's easy to underestimate the perversity of cats until one has to get them to take medication twice a day

• When doing exercises against a door, the smarter thing would be to make sure it's against the direction that opens

• I was so tired of unsuccessfully battling squash bugs that I planted NO squash of any kind this year—and ended up with 3 types of volunteer squash...........which the squash bugs ignored completely

• Even though some people were barely able to pass high school, given a Facebook or Twitter account, everyone is an expert on everything from medicine to economics

• Sprinkling garlic water in the garden might get rid of some voles, but not ones that are actually eating the garlic in the garden

• My parents didn't participate in the drug scene of the 1960s, but I think the hallucinogenic drugs they gave my father during his first week in the hospital topped anything the counter-culture ever tried.

• Even after planting a whole crop of them, we still don't know what fresh fava beans taste like, but the plants are some sort of vole delicacy.

• You know you've stayed in touch with your inner child when you have to set a house rule to NOT jump on the beds because you've stored the empty canning jars underneath them.

• When one has to approach canning in moderation, one cans much less weird stuff

• A vet who prescribes anti-stress meds in pill form for a cat has never had to GIVE pills to a cat

• At some point in medical school, they probably need to instruct doctors to check what medications a patient has been given BEFORE asking the patient questions. Not that it wasn't funny to listen to my father's answers to their questions—especially the discussion about Shetland ponies outside the 5th floor window—it wasn't exactly medically accurate nor extremely helpful.

• I was out of bed for Thanksgiving for the first time in two years! I absolutely love Thanksgiving, and it was so nice to participate in it again. Besides the wonderful spirit of the holiday, I love the idea that America's greatest culinary tradition started with someone looking at a piece of stale bread and saying, "Hm, I wonder where I could put this................"

Wishing you a wonderful holiday and a healthy 2014,

Toni & Andy

Merry Christmas!!!

Season's Greetings from Château Sutton-Goar!

In case--after the year of the cat in a cast, the year of the broken toe, the year of bronchitis, or the year of the pantry moths--you were beginning to think that the holiday season is a bit eventful here at the Château, I can only say, "Why break such a perfect record?" Thus we are enjoying the holidays here during the Year of the Injured Back.. And let me just say, being rescued from the floor of the bathroom clad in crossword puzzle pajamas by eight paramedics really kicks off the holidays nicely. Since they brought along the ambulance AND the firetruck, it actually was a lot like our own personal Macy's parade. What could be more "holiday" than that? We are happy to report that the patient and her dignity are recovering nicely.

Square Foot Gardening

This year we decided to try the square-foot gardening method instead of whatever one would call my regular "shove plants in anywhere" method. It really maximizes our limited garden space, which provided even MORE opportunities for me to lose the squash wars. I planted spaghetti squash and got zucchini. I planted patty-pan and got acorn. I planted yellow zucchini and actually GOT yellow zucchini, but a squadron of squash bugs arrived to remedy the situation immediately, lest I start to think I had successfully mastered something in the squash family. As if.

Music

This spring, some good friends invited us to be part of a monthly music club. People sing, bring instruments, or both, and we have a really fun evening and occasionally perform at little "house concerts" held by members. Since so many people in the group are learning instruments, it has been the perfect time for Andy to learn the mandolin I gave him for his birthday about 4 years ago, and he has progressed so much that his flute/mandolin trio just played what might have been the world's fastest "Carol of the Bells" rendition ever. Everyone enjoyed the song so much that after the flutist was given oxygen, they played a slower version as an encore.

Year of Free Events

As we always enjoy new yearly challenges, this year we decided to explore the many free events Boise has to offer by attending something new each week. We attended films, art exhibits, clubs, lectures and book sales for several months, but finally had to desist when we became too busy.

Exploring Eastern Oregon

To celebrate Andy's birthday, my cousin Dustin joined us on a 4-day weekend exploration of Eastern Oregon. We caught the Walla Walla Onion Festival, Baker City's Miner's Jubilee, a street fair in Pendleton, a chainsaw carving contest in Milton-Freewater, enjoyed some fantastic museums as well as the old Union Hotel, though I think we'd all agree that the highlight of the trip was the Pendleton Underground Tour and the ability to spend the night at the old brothel the Tour runs as a hotel. Andy still enjoys telling everyone that his wife booked him a night in a brothel for his birthday. When he's feeling a bit less mischievous, he includes the part about it no longer being in operation.

This year I have learned.....

• Trying to downplay the level of pain to the paramedics is silly--they have good drugs and they are willing to share.
• If the ER nurse fails to listen to you when you mention you are getting dizzy, fainting in the wheel chair will make her MUCH more attentive
• Apparently in medical paperwork terms, getting one's tail kicked by a turkey doesn't count as an "accident."
• There are times in life when putting one's own socks on can make one's entire day
• Being thankful to have lots of homemade soup available while one is unable to cook because of a back injury when canning the dang soup helped contribute TO the back injury is a lot like living in an O. Henry story.
• When the doctor prescribes Valium for after physical therapy appointments, it's best not to dwell too much on why he thinks you might want to be unconscious after them. You'll find out soon enough
• A fast way to add a bit of mystery to one's gardening is to label seedlings with permanent marker on masking tape, which is only permanent when it isn't exposed to sunlight.
• I was only willing to try the "humane" route the first time we had moles attack the garden. I am now in the "death through smoke bombs" camp
• I can kill any plant that someone says is really, really hard to kill, though in my defense, I will also have plants normally considered non-invasive try to take over the entire yard.
• Even in Idaho, it is possible to harvest fewer potatoes than you planted
• Finding out that the old electric guitar that you've had for 25 years and dropped on the gym floor at least once is suddenly a pretty valuable, much sought-after "vintage" instrument is a lot like finding out that your grandfather is actually a rock star.
• It's really helpful to have at least one sedentary hobby, like knitting, that one can do while recovering from a back injury, but if pain pills are involved, one does risk ending up with a hat large enough to fit a walrus
• Camping with friends is indeed a lot of fun, but I'm still really glad to return to plumbing
• When canning recipes say silly things like "cook until reduced by one-third," it would be wise to prepare several more jars than the recipe suggests. No matter how hard I try, I cannot do fractions in cooked mustard.
• Theo, my little side-kick kitty, takes his role as get-well kitty very, VERY seriously and does not appreciate being laughed at when he flops down on his back beside me as I'm doing my physical therapy exercises.
• All the smugness of being smart enough to buy a restaurant-sized stockpot to use for canning season will be completely obliterated when one realizes one forgot to buy a spoon with a restaurant length handle.
• When you have to check the dates to verify that it is already your 5th wedding anniversary, things are going well.

Wishing you a wonderful holiday and a healthy 2012,

Toni & Andy

Christmas Letter 2010

Once upon a time in a faraway land called Boise, there lived a man and a woman (named Andy and Toni in case you've forgotten who sends the strange Christmas letters) with two cats that agreed to let the humans cater to their every whim in exchange for an occasional dead mouse or vole.  And a few live ones. 

The man and woman were fond of doing yearly adventures, but had decided to take a bit of a rest for 2010, which may have been influenced by the severe colds both of them had at the beginning of the year.  The universe, however, seems to also enjoy the Château Sutton-Goar yearly projects, and decided to assist them by choosing one for them.  And that is how 2010 became "The Year of the Bugs."

The Year of the Bugs began with an invasion of fungus in the yard and garden (Purists will assert that "fungus" is not really the same thing as a "bug," but purists can write their own darn Christmas letter.  For purposes of THIS one, a "bug" is defined as "something icky we don't want"), followed closely by slugs.  One can purchase fungicide for plants, which probably works really well if one can apply it without wind or rain, but there are options when combating slugs.  One method is to fill a container with beer and plant it level with the ground, but this apparently only works if the slugs actually drink beer and like the beer offered, which is not German lager.  Diatomaceous earth will theoretically shred their little slug hides if they crawl in it, but the slugs have to stop eating the basil and peas long enough to roll around in it, which they seem disinclined to do.  Toni and Andy thought they might control a potential aphid problem by buying live ladybugs to turn loose in the garden.  It probably stands to reason that if lady bugs actually wanted to live in one’s garden, they would already be there.  By the time the grasshoppers moved in, Toni and Andy had become resigned to the idea of "sharing."

Not content with just conquering yard and garden, the bugs then decided to attack Château Sutton-Goar itself in the form of pantry moths.  Not having heard of moths that ate anything but wool, Toni and Andy did not immediately recognize the danger when a moth turned up in the pantry.  When the moths had wormy babies that started crawling on the pantry walls and getting into everything however, it was obvious to even the incredibly naive that these little beasts were living on something besides sweaters.  Innocently called "grain moths," the horrible creatures eat lots of things besides grains:  coffee filters, dried fruit, chocolate, popcorn, rice, dried peppers, dried tomatoes, and even cardboard.  One ambitious little critter had even managed to get into an unopened jar of commercial jelly, though he either drown or the sugar gave him a heart attack once he got inside.  If they couldn't get into something, they still built cocoons in the folds or edges, leaving NOTHING untouched and everything needing to be cleaned thoroughly. Tired of having to explain why the potatoes were being kept on the piano and the onions on the coffee table, all social engagements were canceled until the little beasts were finally defeated after a two month battle.  Toni and Andy ended up with a washed, bleached, caulked, and freshly-painted pantry full of completely air-tight containers, a large number of moth traps, the permanent inability to ever eat vermicelli or anything that remotely looks like a worm, some new friends at an exterminator-supply company, and the feeling that slugs are positively "cute" compared to the other possibilities in the bug world. 

Things I've learned this year:

*  she who complains about a bug infestation OUTSIDE is about to experience a bug infestation INSIDE

*  piano practice should probably happen BEFORE the white chocolate martini, not after

*  she who brags that her "no-processed-foods" diet has warded off all colds is about to be visited by the Bronchitis Furies

*  if you had 30 tulip bulbs the year before and the next spring you only have one and it has moved to the other side of the fence, you have moles

*  mothballs down mole holes might discourage some moles, but not the braver sort who are right there to push the mothball back out of the hole to you

*  one CAN knit an entire sweater in 15 days, but that doesn't actually mean that it's sane behavior to do so

*  games invented by cats are every bit as pointless as those invented by 5-year-olds, but at least cats don't keep changing the rules

*  one can add a little mystery to eating at home by freezing leftovers and forgetting to label them

*  before washing two king-sized pillows at home, it would be a good idea to figure out how you'll dry them first.  Do not automatically assume it can be done in the dryer.

*  I turned 40 this year, and yet I STILL wait until the other option is "go naked" before doing laundry.  Truly, I had hoped for better by now

*  if one plants 9 broccoli plants all at the same time, waiting "just one more day" to start harvesting is a bad idea, unless you want to decorate with broccoli flowers

*  "I was out mixing in the organic fertilizer" sounds better than"I was out stirring in the horse poop," but it still smells the same

*  if teenagers insist on parking on your street with rap music blaring, a little "Phantom of the Opera" played at full volume will, in an amazingly short time, convince them to go elsewhere

*  Julia Child's boeuf bourguignon really is the best stew I've ever had, but I'm not sure it was worth 12 hours, the scar I now have or the layer of grease all over the kitchen--nor the experience of boiling bacon

* gardening is Nature's little surprise party.  Just because I didn't plant spaghetti squash and really large pumpkins doesn't mean I'm not going to get them.

*  jumping up and down on a flower bed while jabbing a stick into the dirt has likely solidified the neighborhood's opinion that I am a complete lunatic, but it does keep them from dropping by or wanting to borrow things....not to mention it did collapse all the mole tunnels

*  the more expensive the kitchen canister is, the less likely it is to be airtight

*  when a toe meets a bedpost and one hears a loud "crack," it probably isn't the bedpost that just broke

*  making a goal to read 100 books a year might lead to a lot of very short books in November & December

*  the oil that comes out of hot peppers and burns human skin can permeate some rubber gloves, spreading the joy of jalapeño burns through the rest of the year

*  I'm sure they see everything, but I still felt the need to explain to the Sears repairman why we had food in every part of the house except the pantry

*  do not underestimate Craig's list.  Andy found a really nice used lathe this year, which has opened up lots of new possibilities for the "honey do" list

*  pantry moth worm-babies can chew through an amazing number of things for not having any visible jaws

*  a cat who likes to "help" garden is only really cute the first 5 or 6 times he digs up the kohlrabi

*  a bigger person would have just been happy about getting home-grown carrots rather than sulking because they happily grew in 2-inches of gravel but not in the garden bed where I actually planted them

*  a sense of humor makes everything a bit easier....except perhaps a pantry moth siege

Wishing everyone a happy holiday season,

Toni & Andy

The Christmas Letter

Holiday Greetings!

2009 has been quite a year here at Château Sutton-Goar. This year we:

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  decided to see if we would feel any difference if we eliminated all processed foods (unknown ingredients, food coloring, high fructose corn syrup) from our diet for one year.
  
  
  
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  are a bit disappointed to find out that it really does make a huge difference
  
  
  
• 
  
  have a new appreciation for the bravery of our friends who came over to our house for dinner anyway
  
  
  
• 
  
  had an astounding amount of bizarre-looking meals. If you add spinach to almost everything, it increases the nutritional value, but occasionally one feels like one is eating a pulverized Oscar the Grouch
  
  
  
• 
  
  are really glad the one year is almost up
  
  
  
• 
  
  learned to make homemade liqueurs—and in the future would use decaffeinated coffee for Kahlua unless one intends to have cocktails at 7:00 AM
  
  
  
• 
  
  threw a “zucchini cookoff” party and PEOPLE ACTUALLY CAME!
  
  
  
• 
  
  picked several pounds of cherries...which explains all the cherry jam everyone is getting for Christmas
  
  
  
• 
  
  took our injured kitty for walks on a leash—usually in the backyard where there were no witnesses
  
  
  
• 
  
  shoveled insane amounts of horse manure in the literal—not political—sense
  
  
  
• 
  
  decided to double the size of our garden—which made a lot more sense in March than in August
  
  
  
• 
  
  discovered that if we’re having enough fun, it’s hard to notice the difference in only one income
  
  
  

This year I:

• 
  
  spent so much time reading labels for our “Year of No Processed Foods” experiment that a few local grocery stores think I might be a member of staff
  
  
  
• 
  
  grew an insane amount of garlic, and was so pleased with the results that I planted even more for 2010
  
  
  
• 
  
  learned to make two things successfully in that dang crockpot
  
  
  
• 
  
  will have read 100 books (98 and counting at current writing)
  
  
  
• 
  
  have been doing a lot of food history research and was amazed to find that Velveeta was actually invented as a “healthy” alternative to cheddar cheese.
  
  
  
• 
  
  learned how to make non-mushy pickles—and celebrated by canning 50-some-odd jars of them.
  
  
  
• 
  
  used a pressure canner for the first time ever AND didn’t blow anything up. The fact that I was still canning pumpkin at midnight is an entirely different issue.
  
  
  
• 
  
  learned to make mustard, which is much better than anything we’ve encountered in stores.
  
  
  
• 
  
  experienced my first “real” surgery, which wasn’t nearly as bad as the 6-week recovery period
  
  
  

This year Andy:

• 
  
  finished restoring my grandmother’s piano, though learned that it might have been wiser to NOT mention that there would be piano moving involved when inviting buddies over for beer
  
  
  
• 
  
  ran his annual half-marathon....plus a second for good measure/insanity
  
  
  
• 
  
  made homemade crackers, which were excellent...though the thicker ones were a bit like garlic-flavored dog biscuits
  
  
  
• 
  
  learned that motorcycle camping in May is not always a great idea
  
  
  
• 
  
  learned that kayaking in April is an even worse idea
  
  
  
• 
  
  learned to make homemade pasta, though hasn’t found a solution to the “sticking together in some big fettuccine mess while drying” problem
  
  
  
• 
  
  figured out how to fix our furnace after a week of no heat & two separate repairmen did nothing and charged us anyway. (If they can’t fix anything, should they still be called “repairmen?”)
  
  
  
• 
  
  learned that the way to a woman’s heart is through homemade chocolate-peanut butter ice cream
  
  
  

This year I have learned:

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  just when you’ve thought you have set a new standard for crazy pet owners everywhere, you find yourself signing your cat up for water rehab therapy
  
  
  
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  cats can have nightmares....probably over the kitty water rehab therapy
  
  
  
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  if the compost doesn’t get hot enough to kill seeds, it’s a terrific way to seed your lawn, flowerbeds, and flower pots with cucumbers, tomatoes, and sugar peas
  
  
  
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  putting steaming horse manure on the lawn and garden won’t kill the plants, but might have had something to do with two neighbors moving away
  
  
  
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  finding a chocolate zucchini cake recipe can make one more accepting when one ends up with a second summer squash where pumpkins were supposed to be planted
  
  
  
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  those plastic knobs on the gas stove have a lower melting point than one might think
  
  
  
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  never underestimate how fast a determined cat can remove a leg cast. Theo’s current record is before even getting him home from the vet, which has made him a legend at WestVet
  
  
  
• 
  
  for some cats, kitty valium is not so much a sedative as kitty speed. Finding this out after giving it to a cat in a cast is really unfortunate
  
  
  
• 
  
  just because it stains your fingers, it doesn’t mean that blueberry juice can color frosting
  
  
  
• 
  
  after 6 months, one does stop fantasizing about Diet Pepsi, but one never stops thinking about chocolate
  
  
  
• 
  
  if one of the cats turns a live bird loose in your house and it settles into a flower arrangement four feet above the open front door, the odds of the bird figuring out that a) the flowers are fake and b) it could get out through a door just a few feet below it are next to zero—no matter how strong the cold wind is blowing through the house
  
  
  
• 
  
  if a doctor tells you initially that surgery recovery will take about a week, it’s best to ask questions. He meant in the “stop feeling like crap” sense, and I meant in the “can be out shoveling dirt in the garden” sense
  
  
  
• 
  
  doped up on enough pain killers, I can have all the milkshakes I want because I won’t actually feel my normal headaches from my milk allergy....or anything else for that matter
  
  
  
• 
  
  “all natural” on a food label doesn’t mean what I thought it meant
  
  
  
• 
  
  don’t assume ANYTHING about your home’s construction—even if you bought the builder’s own home
  
  
  
• 
  
  there is such a thing as bacon-flavored lip balm. Why is anybody’s guess
  
  
  
• 
  
  life is always an adventure, though some days more than others.......
  
  
  

We wish everyone a merry holiday season and a healthy & happy 2010!

Toni and Andy

The Christmas Letter

Happy Holidays!!!

Once upon a time, in a far away place called Boise, there lived a husband and wife. They were very happy, but as we know happens in all stories, there were bad things as well called “plot twists.” One was called the “economy” which fell apart because too many people were greedy and wanted to own houses that they couldn’t afford. The “economy” cost many people their jobs, including both Andy and Toni. Luckily, Andy and Toni were careful with money and hadn’t bought a too-expensive home, and Andy was able to use a magic power called “telecommuting” to get a job in another state. To learn to be even more careful with money, Toni and Andy decided to go 90 days without buying anything except food and “gasoline,” which makes cars go. Unfortunately, “gasoline” and food became so expensive that it was all they could afford anyway. They had a large back “lawn,” which is also known as a “freaking waste of water in a desert climate,” so they converted much of the “lawn” into a garden so they could grow their own food and learn 37 different ways to cook pumpkin when Toni mixed up seed packets and planted two pumpkin plants by mistake.

Toni got a little over-excited about the garden this year, and canned lots and lots of tomatoes and salsa and sauces. Andy was very tolerant and supportive, but when she canned pickled pumpkin, he staged what is known as an “intervention.”

Also in Boise was a jealous and bitter woman known as the “ex-wife,” who introduced them to new terms such as “Parent Alienation Syndrome” and “Hostile Parenting.” They in turn introduced her to the term “Restraining Order,” and she is now suing them for sole custody.

Andy and Toni share their home with two cats, Callisto and Theo. Sometimes “plot twists” happen to kitties, and Theo is currently in a cast recovering from a dislocated joint & broken leg and Toni is carefully wrapping his cast in saran-wrap so his cast doesn’t get wet when he uses the litter box. Toni refers to this as “utterly and totally kissing her dignity good-bye.”

One of their close friends embarked on a 600-mile hike of the Appalachian Trail in March, so Toni & Andy learned how to dehydrate many foods—including beans, rice, and applesauce—so they could send her food packets along the trail. They learned many things: bacon does dehydrate but it makes an entire house smell like a cheap diner for at least a week; pudding doesn’t dehydrate very well; and dried curried garbanzo beans make a great snack if they don’t get hard enough to break teeth.

Boise is a very special place and Toni and Andy have many friends there, and in order to see these friends more often, they have brought back “Soup Night,” which now occurs on the second Monday of every month, and all friends who live in Boise and the surrounding area are invited. Everyone else is also invited of course, but that is a really long drive for soup.

Like in all good stories, the “plot twists” have added challenges and difficulties to Andy & Toni’s lives this year, but also like in all good stories, they continue to live happily ever after and hope this finds everyone also living happily ever after and having a very merry holiday season, and they send you all their best wishes for the new year!

What we have learned this year:

• There are worse things than having a cat in a cast. One of them is trying to keep the cat quiet and inactive while in the cast.
• Happiness is a state of mind. Sometimes that state is closely related to delusion.
• Type A personalities cannot have a “small” garden or do a “little” canning.
• If you have gone on a 90-day spending ban right before the economy tanks, it’s hard not to have a few worries that you might have caused it.
• The people who most want pity are generally those who least deserve it.
• Not in anyone’s wildest imagination would 3 pumpkins make 5 half-pint jars of pumpkin butter, no matter what the recipe says. Try 30.
• As we prepare to embark on a year of no processed foods, we realize many people will start turning down dinner invitations.
• Labeling things as one plants them in the garden would save a great of time and frustration later.
• Being a bad parent is not illegal. If you’re a single mother, it’s a protected right.
• Only the most insane knitter will tally up all the yarn she currently has in her stash. Hobbies are not the place for reality checks.
• Boise has a Tango Society and tango lessons are quite fun, but the rose in the teeth thing isn’t covered in beginner lessons.
• Read plant labels carefully. A “pimenta” is not the same as “pimento,” and is in fact an insanely hot chili pepper.
• If one has accidentally eaten an insanely hot chili pepper thinking it to be mild, rinsing one’s mouth out with alcohol really does numb the burning.
• The people who were giving us so much flak two years ago about putting a large amount down on our house and not taking out the equity to invest in the stock market are pretty darn quiet now.
• Visiting Ellis Island makes one realize how brave our ancestors really were.
• If you make a cake out of green tomatoes, it’s best to let people try the cake before telling them what’s in it.
• It’s good to make friends with the owners of small hotels—especially ones that are only two hours away and have fun events.
• I realize people have done it for hundreds of years, but I am still foolishly delighted when I can successfully grow our own food in the garden.
• Nothing brings one’s ego down to size faster than having to hold a cat so he can use the litter box.
• A “normal” life is something other people have.
• Facebook is the new way for adults to have no idea what is going on.
• A cat might look extremely silly after it’s been shaved in several places for surgery and I.V.s, but it does really cut down on shedding.
• Green tomato jam is just as weird as it sounds.
• “Month of” experiments are a great way to learn things, but one’s friends are likely to think one is a few pom poms short of a cheer squad.
• Once one starts doing silly Christmas letters, it’s impossible to go back.

Day 29 - The Christmas Letter!

Happy Holidays

Greetings! As December approaches, it’s a time for reflection—what did we do, what did we learn, and what are we willing to admit to in the Christmas letter?

Christmas letters are traditionally the time to brag about one’s 3-year-old son who just won the Nobel Prize for physics, how wonderful a 2-week stay at a private Caribbean Island was, and how one was made CEO after only 4 months at work. Here in the real world, Andy has been informed that Micron is outsourcing his job, though he can work until July if he helps work himself out of a job, David is doing well in second grade, though the Nobel Prize committee has not contacted us as of yet, and work has kept me so busy that I have barely managed any time off all year. But we’re all healthy and happy, and as we didn’t move, sell any houses, or plan any weddings, it was a relatively calm year.

The Yearly Update:

Toni’s employment: selling business telephone systems for DataTel

Andy’s employment: let's just say “pending”

Finally, a sequel: For years people have asked me about doing a mid-year Christmas letter update, and while recoiling at the thought of the constant envelope-licking that would involve, I did finally join the technologically “with it” and created a “blog” (web log), http://catanova.blogspot.com/. There you can find the Vermin Adventures, examine some lovely décor options we’re considering, view our wedding photos, and read about our latest experiment: NPR has been running stories about a family who decided to spend no money for an entire year, which inspired us (with the threat of impending job loss) to adopt a “can’t buy anything new” program for one month, beginning November 12 and ending on December 12. We are currently about halfway through the month, and have discovered that while the “true necessities” of life aren’t things at all, there are a lot of things that would really be nice to have right now—like epoxy, address labels, and postage stamps. We have not yet decided what our next “for a month” adventure will be, but we would be willing to try “living on a private yacht while cruising the Mediterranean” or “living on a Tuscan villa” if we could just find someone willing to swap with us.

Christmas in the Magic Kingdom: Since we have David for Christmas this year, we will be spending the holiday in California with Andy’s parents, who conveniently live just a few miles from Disneyland. David is almost 8, so we think he’s old enough to cope with standing in lines but young enough that we can still convince him that the rides without long lines are really the coolest ones. Those who do not occasionally lie to children do not live with them.

This year we have learned:

• If presented with the alternative often enough, you will greet gifts of dead rodents and birds with sheer joy.
• Men do not consider comparing 37 slightly-varied paint chips as a “togetherness” activity.
• Some people would find being treated as a surrogate parent by a cat cute and touching. I am not one of them—especially not at 4:00 AM.
• As adults, it is not socially acceptable to say, “Go away and take your flying monkeys with you.” That’s what attorneys are for.
• The 15-year-employment anniversary gift with Micron is a stereo. The 18-year anniversary gift is a lay-off.
• A lot of marital stress can be avoided by having his & her tubes of toothpaste.
• Hearing flapping near your head an instant before a cat leaps onto your chest may actually be the worst way to wake up ever.
• If you hate white walls enough, an evening of painting can be a good date.
• If you join a group called the “Mystery Stole,” you may or may not like the result. Hence the “mystery” part.
• Every couple has things which challenge the concept of “share and share alike.” Ours are blankets and pea pods
• Our national security is a tad lax at the Canadian borders, as Andy was able to travel in & out of our country with his driver’s license and my passport, or perhaps he crossed at a spot that gets a lot of female impersonators.
• When you send a child through a social graces class, it is advisable to ask about the curriculum beforehand so you will be prepared when the child refers to the correct way to eat a parfait.
• Anything can be fun if approached in the right state of mind. Sometimes that state of mind requires alcohol.
• Cat doors were invented by people who never owned cats.
• Do not ask your spouse to always explain his or her behavior.
• Voles are neckless mice and here in Idaho they are unlikely to carry rabies.
• No matter how many times one is proved wrong, one always approaches a garden with optimism.
• Always be flexible when baking—it might be a rotten cake, but it could make decent brownies.
• If you’re putting things away “for safe keeping,” it should probably be done by the one with the better memory.
• A blog may take up some of your best Christmas letter material.
• Life is an adventure.

We hope this finds you healthy, happy, and enjoying a wonderful holiday season!

Best wishes, Toni & Andy

2006 Christmas Letter

2006 – The Year of the Thank You Notes

Before we begin, I first apologize to those of you who have used the entire “S” section of their address books trying to keep up with me over the years. It is probably easiest to just move me to “X” and be done with it, really, or switch to a Rolodex.

This year’s update:

Occupation: selling business telephone systems for DataTel

Work number: (208) 401-2110 (direct phone & fax)

Spouse: (yes, you read that correctly) Andy

Stepson: David

Full name: Toni L. Sutton (nope, no changes)

Don’t try this at home

Andy & I got engaged on January 11, got married on September 23, and in the time between we sold 2 houses, bought one, moved, and planned a wedding. It’s amazing what you will do when you’re in love and can exist on minimal sleep.

David

Having read WAY too many fairytales when I was a child, I still struggle with the idea of being a “stepparent,” let alone a “stepmother.” The very word still sends shivers down my spine. Luckily, David pretty much views me as a large child who plays Legos and TinkerToys, but whose PlayStation skills could use some work. On Saturdays we play trains, do puppet shows (including a disco remake of Jack and the Beanstalk), make pancakes, play Jumping Monkeys, and lots of other things I’m not ready to publicly admit to doing. It seems that my inner child isn’t very far below the surface after all.

Two engineers

Andy is an engineer. David is destined to be an engineer. At the age of 5 he showed me his favorite electronics circuits and explained resisters, LED lights, and three-way switches to me. This spring he explained to his kindergarten class how plumbing works. I am more of a liberal arts person, so it’s still hard for me to understand that electronics make sense to anyone, let alone a small child. Sometimes I feel a bit outnumbered in our house, but ALL electronics work in our home, and I never have/get to change a light bulb again. My friends want to know when they can start hiring him as a contractor.

Masters of the universe

This fall I lost Catanova, the opinionated cat I adopted in college, to brain cancer. I had him for just over 16 years, and still find myself looking for him when I come home. To keep Callisto company, we adopted Theo in August, and as of December she still can’t stand him, but she has at least quit biting me in sheer appreciation. No matter how hard you try, I think it’s impossible to pick friends for cats. The fact that Theo likes to pounce on Callisto’s head regularly probably has something to do with it as well.

This year I learned….

© enough whining gets you a new tent

© gas stove or not, an open flame is an open flame

© crafting will expand to take up whatever amount of room is allotted to it

© when you live with another person, a lot of what you do is rather embarrassing and hard to explain

© no matter how much you have promised to not invade it, having a half-full closet across the hall from yours is a serious temptation

© it is possible to develop carpal tunnel syndrome from addressing invitations

© it’s much easier to plan an event when it doesn’t have to make money, and frankly has no hope of doing so.

© if a couple has two houses, it’s best to sell both and buy one together. That way neither of you knows where anything is.

© if he receives sweaters, your husband is not as likely to complain if he sits on a knitting needle now and then.

© if you aren’t sure where a box should go, have the professional movers take it upstairs anyway

© my optimism will always run at least twice as fast as my ability to keep up when it comes to new projects. Fortunately, Andy finds this endearing.

© New Yorkers are very friendly people who are always ready to give you directions whether they know how to get there or not

© if one of your cats is jealous of the attention you give to a new kitten, she may feel compelled to present you with live birds & mice in your bedroom in the middle of the night

© live birds & mice in your room in the middle of the night fall into the category “things to leave to your husband.”

© sorting laundry into “things Andy is allowed to wash” and “things Andy is not allowed to wash” makes life easier for everyone

© some of us are closer to our “inner child” than others

© that makers of king-sized beds didn’t go that extra 3-inches to make a perfectly square mattress just to be perverse

© humor a man’s decorating ideas before vetoing them

© some of us are just destined to be pale, and we are prone to having passport photos rejected for being too washed out

© mentioning once or twice that you can’t eat red pepper may not be enough proof for some people. An evening of pain & antacids is more convincing

© there really is no good way to explain decorative pillows on a bed

© when you marry a very proactive man, be careful what you joke about

© if you want a small turkey, don’t shop the day before Thanksgiving

© some cats like the taste of mascara and eye makeup, especially at 3:00 in the morning

© be careful what sort of precedent you set for your annual Christmas letter.

It has been quite a year, to say the least. I hope you have all had a lovely year as well, and may 2007 be full of adventure, happiness, and new experiences for all of us.