It Seemed Like A Good Idea.............

It may not look like it, but this

is a cat with stress issues. 

We flew out to Indiana for Andy's family reunion obscenely early on Thursday morning.  Because it's such a busy time of year for our friends, how much I would worry about fires with the drought this year, and because I wanted to poison the little vole-monsters who have been plaguing the garden all spring, I thought it would be a brilliant idea to board the cats while we were gone.  Because of our travel times, the cats were due to check in the day before we left and get picked up the day after we arrived.  I made the reservations well in advance, made a copy of their immunization records, and thought I was really pretty clever for coming up with this whole idea in the first place. 

STILL feeling like I was planning ahead, we dug out the suitcases Tuesday night.  I have joked many times about Theo getting upset when he sees suitcases come out because he hates change so much, but I always thought I was just joking.  As we now know--it's really true.  I woke up at 6:00 AM Wednesday morning with a kitty who was trying to urinate about every 10 minutes but couldn't.  Urinary tract infections are painful enough for anyone, but for male cats they can be quite dangerous.  Theo has never had one, but my old cat, Catanova, had, so I knew the problem.  So, rather than checking them in later in the afternoon after a trip to the gym as I had carefully planned, I collected the cats and took them to their hotel early so the vet could have a look at him.

It turns out that there are two things that can stop a cat from urinating:  stress, which causes inflammation of something and results in blood in the urine, or a bacterial infection, which is the one that can kill male cats.  But it also turns out that a stressed-out cat can hold his bladder for a good 24 hours.  So, the vet checked him, thought he looked okay, put him on a pain-reliever, and said they would keep me posted.  So, rather than getting to worry about the house burning down with the cats trapped inside, I got to worry about my cat's urination problems--because boarding one's cats in a cat hotel just isn't weird enough on its own.

Now I don't know what your experience has been with vets, but mine has been all over the place.  We've had the wonderful people who took care of Theo when he broke his leg, and I've had two of the I-need-a-new-boat vets--one of whom ran several hundred dollars worth of tests when I took Catanova in for fur falling out and sent me home with shampoo for a skin irritation which wasn't a symptom of anything they tested for (and, to add insult to injury, was until that point a friend of mine), and the other one wanted to operate on Theo shortly after his leg saga to REMOVE the pin in his leg when I took him in for coughing.  So, I was a bit worried that they put him on pain medication instead of antibiotics, and then was REALLY worried after the vet called and didn't know that Theo had been trying to urinate since before 6:00 AM and couldn't, in spite of my telling at least 3 people, including the one I called to ask if I could bring him in early to have the vet look at him.  I suppose it's possible, of course, that among their circles of friends they regularly discuss cat urinating in normal conversation, but I was sort of thinking that at least one of them might be writing it down.  I shall know to always look for pens or typing in the future. 

We had been trying to make sure everything went smoothly, because this was the first time I'd tried traveling since I hurt my back, and stress makes my back worse, and the Valium was only going to be helpful in a limited sense because the amount needed to relax REALLY tensed muscles is also the amount that would have made it really hard to get me off the plane in Denver and onto a connecting flight without the aid of a stretcher.  Luckily--and I'm sure I'll never say this again--getting up at 4:00 AM makes one groggy enough to compensate for the lack of drugs.  We had some time in Denver, so I called again and luckily Theo had urinated and did have blood in the urine, so it was just inflammation, and they were going to keep him on pain-killers and an anti-depressant while we were gone.  So, I enjoyed the rest of the trip with feelings of guilt rather than worry, which is a slight improvement. 

We arrived home Monday night sometime after midnight, and set off to rescue the cats pretty early yesterday morning.  They received a report card for their behavior,

which seemed pretty cheerful as Calisto growled and hissed all the way home.  I suppose "was a total jerk" and "terrified" doesn't earn repeat business.  Theo was sent home with pain-killers in pill form for a play-at-home version of the torture session, and it's possible that we gave him one last night.  Two humans, an 18 pound muscular cat, and half a turquoise pill made for an interesting evening, and as we could no longer find the pill anywhere, we think it might have ended up in the cat, but it isn't certain.  I'm speculating that NOT giving the pills will help relieve the stress and the inflammation faster than GIVING the pills will, but I'm keeping a close eye on him.

The cats were glad to be home and spent most of the day in the backyard,

but it took several hours to forgive Andy, and I--as the instigator of this whole horrible episode--have only gotten back into kitty good-graces this morning after a great deal of groveling and a solemn promise to find a cat-sitter next time......... 

Doin' Physical Therapy

We have to do twist stretches:

stomach crunches:

 Now a little rest:

 and full-length stretches:

Theo says I'm on my own for the pool stuff, though.....

Theo and I

After we went through the ordeal of Theo and the broken leg, he and I have formed a rather unique relationship, and I have grown to accept that Theo now believes my sole function in life is to entertain him. Fine.  Not that I'm going to, but I accept that he believes it.  He seems to also believe I cannot do anything without him,

I have also come to accept the fact that if Andy and I dare to go out in the evening, we will be greeted at the garage door by a strongly disapproving kitty--complete with twitching tail and usually lots of complaining meows.  Theo also has such strong associations between things that after the kitty physical therapist tried using a little bell for aversion therapy to get him to use his bad leg more, I have to remove the bell from all new collars, or else he runs around the house in terror.  After they brushed him each time he finished the kitty hydrotherapy, he is afraid of being brushed and I can only do it while he's sleeping.  I can live with all of that.

What I really wish we could get past is Theo's certainty that I need to know when he uses the litterbox.

When he first came home from the hospital, I had to saran-wrap his cast and hold him up in the litter box so he could use it, and then later had to keep an eye on him to make sure he wasn't developing a bladder infection or kitty constipation for a second time, so I really did pay a lot of attention to his litter box habits--I admit.  Unfortunately, Theo is an unusual animal with very strong associations, so if I do something once or twice, he automatically assumes it will continue indefinitely.  So here we are--two years later--and during the winter months when it's too cold for the cats to use the garden as humongous outdoor litter boxes, Theo thinks he needs to tell me every time he's about to use the litter box.  Every. Single. Time.  

You just can't buy closeness like that. 

As Much Help As I Can Stand

As some of you may be aware, I rarely get to do anything without my sidekick.  He helps me do the dishes,

and the laundry,

even the hand-washing. 

 

He helps me fold laundry,

make the bed,

and even on the rare occasions when I iron.

I have kitty assistance for sewing,

handling the garden harvest,

decorating, 

and working on the computer

or laptop.

When I had surgery....

I was hardly ever without my sidekick--who conveniently woke me up every four hours for my medication.  For the most part, I find his "help" rather endearing.

Except for gardening.  

So far this spring I have planted:
     onions
     spinach
     snow peas
     beets

So far Theo has dug up:
     onions
     spinach
     beets

The snow peas have only survived because I planted them under the mulch in-between the rows of garlic, and I don't think he can find it.  Sometimes, it's because he's doing hideous things in the garden beds, but other times he sees me digging and plops down beside me and starts digging away because he thinks that's what we're doing for the day.  Last year he dug up the kohlrabi and radishes as fast as I planted them.  This year we're starting earlier.  BOTH of us.  

Meanwhile, Here At Mouse Central....

So, how many rodents were we up to when I left off yesterday? Technically, I think these things are all voles, but when there's a furry uninvited creature streaking through the living room, I don't really care about my accuracy level. Yesterday ended with one vole alive, well, and living under the cupboards, and 3 small voles all known to be dead. (And we were actually HAPPY to find out that Maine Coon cats were good mousers. HAPPY! Can you believe it? I guess it's just like everything else in life--nothing is simple enough to be just good or bad)

This morning, it was cold, so I thought a relaxing dip in the hot tub would be a great start to the morning--a bit of calm before starting on today's canning adventures. THEN I came inside to discover Theo had a vole in the hall closet. Since the cats have lost more than a few creatures, Andy and I decided to "help." And between the three of us........we managed to lose the vole.

Theo and I are still patrolling downstairs, although I am going to the grocery store soon, and it will be the happiest trip I have ever made because while the grocery store may have not be an overly fun place to be, it will be the first time in the last 72 hours that I can be absolutely certain that no one is going to present me with a rodent!!!!!

I Have Now Killed a Mouse

Not the mouse from this morning--he's still alive and well and living under my cupboards. Nope, a DIFFERENT mouse.

Every time Andy is gone I go through this. I don't know if the cats think that I they need to feed me while Andy is gone--which would be odd as they've never seen HIM present me with a mouse. I think that would be grounds for divorce, frankly. Or since I am the Most Favorite Human, maybe they're trying to bribe me not to let him back in as when he's gone they can both sleep with me. I think I might honestly feel better if they showered him with vermin as well when I'm gone, but they don't. They wait until I'm back and I get animals then too. And take turns sleeping on me.

Whatever their motivation may be, I walked into the downstairs bathroom and found a dead baby mouse.

Or I thought he was dead. He looked dead. I got the broom & dustpan, and thought as long as we were already IN the bathroom....I dropped him in the toilet bowl. AND HE STARTED SWIMMING!

I am a softy of the highest order. I have not set a trap outside the hole where the first mouse of the day disappeared because I just can't bear the thought of killing anything, but how do you fish a struggling mouse out of a toilet bowl?

I closed my eyes and flushed the toilet. I know he must have been pretty badly injured, I know it might have been the kindest thing to do after all.....but I still feel bad. Now if it had been one of the moles that are terrorizing the garden.....

I think I'm going to lock the cats inside until Andy gets home. Three mice in three days is perhaps my limit.

Theo's Cast Came Off Today!!!

On purpose this time--he wasn't pulling another Houdini. The bones have healed, but there's a lot of scar tissue around the joint so right now he can't bend his ankle. You realize what that means, of course..........

Kitty Water Aerobics

His first session is on Thursday. They have promised to allow me to film this. I don't know, could our lives get any weirder?

The Good News & The Bad News

Yesterday was the 2-week mark in Kitty Convalescence, and Theo got a festive new cast for the holidays:
The bad news is, the vet mentioned 6 more weeks--not 4. And of course, all 6 weeks involve keeping Theo quiet & inactive. Do you think this vet has ever encountered a cat that wasn't sedated? Granted, cats sleep around 18 hours a day, but it's those remaining 6 hours that can really get you.

Today is relatively easy as there is something different about this cast versus the old one, so Theo can't move as fast with this one, but that's only a matter of time. To add insult to injury, they didn't give me any sedatives--either for the cat or for me. Maybe it's time to introduce Theo to the world of white chocolate martinis.......

White Chocolate Martinis

In a martini shaker, mix:

6 oz. vanilla vodka
3 oz. clear creme de cacao
3 oz. Godiva white chocolate liqueur

Add ice & shake until chilled. Serves 2

Martha In High Gear

Thanks to an ill-conceived plan involving this:
which Andy swears was the most masculine-looking kitty harness at the pet store, we had a very frustrated kitty who ended up spending the morning in kitty time-out:

giving me some prime Martha time. A little addition to the stair landing:
and I redid the stair decorations, which don't photograph well but look really nice. I need to attach a few bows, but I think it's nice.Speaking of bows, I tried out a few on some light fixturesand liked the effect so much that the dining room chandelier got a little attention.I liked the bows better, but I don't have any more bows and I don't know how to make that type of bow (and was being way too lazy to look them up).

The stockings are up,the banister is decorated,and it looks like this will last at least one more year:
It's a centerpiece I won a few years ago, and every year I take it out and glue whatever came off back onto it. So far nothing has happened that a little hot glue can't fix.

Theo did forgive me by afternoon, but Callisto has gone into hiding. I think she's afraid we'll stick a big cast on her as well, so today I found her here:
Can't see her? Try in between the pillows:It's the Kitty-Protection Program. Glad she doesn't know about the kitty enema. She might have moved out entirely....

Sort of Martha-ing

I don't know. I don't actually watch her show, but I have a hard time picturing Martha nursing a cat in a cast:After tonight we'll be down to two medications, so that's exciting, but I just don't feel very Martha-like saran-wrapping a cat's cast before he pees. Maybe I should be using colored saran wrap?

I did get our Christmas tree up and decorated:

though this year I decided to do a very non-Martha tree and I used the tinsel-type garlands like the ones I grew up with. No ribbons or beads or anything exotic this year. Just simple and festive, and I'm quite pleased with it so far, though it needs a few gifts under it to look truly Christmas-y.

I did get a bit ambitious with the entryway:
and those bows are handmade and everything. Well, I bought the ribbon--let's not get crazy here--but I did tie them myself. Granted, they look better at this distance than they do up close, but we don't have any 10-foot-tall friends, so that's okay.

Tomorrow the stockings go up!

A Little Useful Information We Didn't Have 24 Hours Ago

Around midnight, we came across some information that no one had thought to share with us previously, so as a public service, I thought I'd share:

1. A cat recovering from surgery will be given drugs. These drugs might cause kitty constipation.

2. Feeding a cat a little pumpkin puree would....um...."soften" things up a bit and prevent this particular problem. (Which would have put yesterday's pumpkin pie in a whole new light, but that's another story)

3. A vet clinic isn't likely to mention this fact when you take your cat home.

4. A constipated kitty in a leg cast is one of the most pitiable creatures ever--especially on his way to the vet clinic at midnight for a date with a tiny rubber hose.

5. Do not joke about your cat's total humiliation--it might tempt the kitty gods to make his life even worse.

Sunday

As Andy was painting our bedroom this weekend, we spent the night in the spare bedroom. As this was something NEW in our home, both cats decided to sleep with us--a rather unusual occurrence. This morning Andy had just gotten up, Calisto was laying on my legs, and Theo had curled up in Andy's place, and in that half-groggy in-need-of-coffee way, I noticed something was moving on the covers on my leg. A second later, my brain woke up with a start: Both cats were accounted for and they weren't near the moving thing on my leg.

I can now assure you that it is ENTIRELY possible to wake up, fling the covers entirely off the bed, and leap out of bed in one single motion. Theo leapt to the floor--I think he might have glimpsed a flying rodent, but he certainly hasn't caught anything yet. Calisto just looked at me as though I were a complete ingrate, so I strongly suspect I have her to thank for the "gift."

Why exactly did we think a cat door was a good idea??????

Slim Pickings?

This morning instead of finding a bird carcass in our bedroom, the over night gift from the cats was an empty bird's nest. Apparently the economic downturn is hitting the feline set as well.....

Day 87 - At Least It Will Keep Our Minds Off Shopping

Today this entered our lives:Amoxicillin for cats (and, it looks like, small children, but we've chosen to not think about that one too much, though I suppose giving cats pediatric drugs is better than giving small children feline drugs...and it does probably explain the whole bubble-gum flavoring thing)

To be administered twice a day for a week to our least-social cat, Calisto, who only occasionally sees fit to tolerate Andy's existence.

If there are no further blog posts this week, you'll know my hands are too scratched up to type.

Here kitty, kitty, kitty.....

Day 80 - Attention Mice of the World!

This sort of behaviorwill result in this. Complain all you want, you brought this on yourselves. What does a 2-inch long creature need with 2, count them--2, king-sized blankets?

You might have grown complacent as our cats are obvious sufferers of kitty A.D.D., but having spent two days scrubbing the laundry room to remove all the mouse poop, if I catch any of you in the laundry room again, I won't need mouse traps.

This is war, and I have the opposable thumbs and an exterminator on speed dial!

There Is an Art

Thisis not a magazine and an empty oatmeal container. This is a rodent removal system. This sophisticated mechanism--clamp the oatmeal container on top of the rodent, then slide the magazine underneath container and rodent--has removed 7 or 8 creatures from our bedroom already this year. The magic of this system is its flexibility. For live, relatively unhurt animals, it keeps them contained until they can be flung over the back fence into the communal "park" behind us, where they have a sporting chance of relocating before being found by a cat again. For obviously injured vermin, it allows soft-hearted people who are unable to put them out of their misery to fling them out the front door. If the fright of being suddenly airborne doesn't finish them off, the subsequent bounce on the pavement does the trick.

This is going to be a very long summer......

Lesson of the Week: You Can Get Used To Anything

I admit, earlier in the week there was some screaming, jumping onto furniture, and loud swearing over the vermin gifts from Theo. Last night, when he deposited a dead vole at my feet under the dinner table, Andy and I had a calm discussion of whether it was a mole, vole, mouse, or some other creature. I cannot believe I have grown accustomed to THIS!!!

Moles & Snow

Last night we actually had TWO moles in the house, courtesy of Theo, and I went to bed wishing it were still winter.

This morning we woke up to this:
Blast it! If I'd have known the universe was going to actually grant me a wish, I would have wished for something much better--like being able to eat pizza all the time without my butt getting bigger. Rats!

In other news, exactly a month from today will kick off our 90-day "can't buy anything new" project (well, and the end of Andy's job after 18 years, his possible unemployment, and potentially a new project called how-do-you-find-enough-things-
-around-the-house-to-keep-Andy-occupied?) The rules will be the same as during our one-month experiment (see here.) Since it's a much longer time frame, we're thinking we need a good ceremonial kickoff--maybe we each get $10 to buy the dumbest, most useless, unnecessary thing(s) we can find?

Well, Guess Who's the Best Mouser In the House...

?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

I am.

When I left for work this morning, the Theo had lost the mouse in a pile of clothes we're getting ready to donate to the Idaho Youth Ranch, but was waiting patiently to catch it again.

When I got home, the mouse was curled up in front of the fireplace downstairswhile our brave protectors were snoozing upstairs amid the knitting project sorting.
With the aid of an empty Quaker Oats can, I caught the little vermin and flung him into the park behind our house.

Nobody is getting cat treats tonight. I'm the only one who earned them.