Martha

Last year you might remember I decided to do a "month of Martha," where I pretended to be Martha Stewart except without the staff & the money.  The idea behind my experiments is generally to learn something, but mostly what I learned that month is that it stinks to be Martha without the staff and the money.  I still have a few aspirations, so I get Martha's email newsletters for organizational tips, crafting tips, and seasonal tips, though I have to admit I still don't know if I really like Martha Stewart. 

On the one hand, I can truly admire the woman's business sense.  She started out as a caterer, and has now built an empire.  That's impressive. 

The thing that makes it difficult (besides her insistence on the "perfect" way to do everything) is that Martha and I do not live in the same universe.  Four years ago when I was planning our wedding, I actually borrowed a Martha wedding DVD from the library.  In it, Martha explained how to make a great centerpiece out of a $5000 wheel of cheese. 

First, THERE IS SUCH A THING AS A FIVE THOUSAND DOLLAR WHEEL OF CHEESE.  Now I'm sure that it was fabulous cheese, but I was stunned nevertheless.  Then Martha used it as a decoration. 

In my universe, if $5000 is involved with cheese in any way, it's because I have decided to buy some cows for the back yard and milk them myself.  Not that I'm saying buying a $5000 wheel of cheese is wrong--I'm just not in that sort of world.  I mean, if I found an extra $5000 laying around cheese just isn't going to be my first thought.  Of course in my world, if I found an extra $5000 I'd have to call the bank and ask whose money they had mistakenly deposited in our account.  But I digress. 

In our universe, money is a real consideration.  In doing some research for this year, I've located several books from different decades--some cookbooks, some household management--and so far I've noticed that having to survive on a budget and admitting that one needed to live within that budget seems to have been pretty common during much of our history.  I think we're getting better, but during the 1990s especially it seemed like admitting that one couldn't afford something was to be some sort of failure.  I know I certainly went out with friends for more than one or two meals which I seriously couldn't afford (well, without surviving on cup-a-soup for the next month) because EVERYBODY could afford such things.  Of course, now it turns out that EVERYBODY was racking up debt. It turns out, we were just pretending that money & budgets didn't matter. 

When I first lost my job & decided to not look for a new one immediately, I decided I had to get serious about budgets & meal planning and discovered that even as careful as I thought I was about money, I had no idea what I was doing.  I'd buy groceries that we ended up not using, I didn't always think about ways to use leftovers or overlapping ingredients, and I was buying more than we needed for the week.  I checked out articles online that promised a week's worth of inexpensive dinners, and the menus for one week would have blown our food budget for the entire month.  Or the money saving articles were all centered around us living in the mountains, building our home from old soda cans and tires that we collected along the roadside, somehow locating free solar panels, and living somewhere that there wasn't a ban on wood-burning stoves in the winter.  So my question is, what about the rest of us?

I am certainly getting better by now, and I have learned a lot about meal planning and shopping, but what about people who DON'T want to put themselves through some sort of cooking boot camp?  I'm spending a lot of time at the library lately looking for cookbooks that feature healthy and reasonably inexpensive foods WITHOUT a bunch of processed foods, and so far I'm not finding much.  There are budget-conscious cookbooks, but so far all the ones I've seen are spectacularly unhealthy and the healthy cookbooks all call for ingredients we can't have (besides the fact that I'm no longer convinced that the "low-cal," low-fat," or "lite" foods are a good idea) or the meals are pretty spendy.   So far, I don't think this is a category that exists.  Why is that?

And have I just found next year's project.......? 

Obviously, All I Need Is A Little Rest

So, back from a vacation where I did no more cooking than heating up canned soup, this week I baked the last of the pumpkins and froze the pulp
And here's a little tip for you--storing pumpkins for 6 months might be a tad optimistic. A few made it, but I think it was 50% or less. The good news is: rotting pumpkins aren't half as disgusting as some rotting fruits and/or vegetables--whatever pumpkins actually are. We still have a lot of pumpkin puree, and after everything I've been adding it to lately, Andy might actually be relieved if we run out before this year's crop strikes, er....ripens.

Next, armed with my trusty book,and thoroughly optimistic after the success of the blueberry syrup, I decided to tackle the cinnamon rum syrup, which of course required a trip to the liquor store for thiswhich is dark rum, which is not the same thing as golden rum or the clear rum which was the one we had on hand. Personally, as there is only about a tablespoon of rum needed anyway, I'm not sure exactly what it even adds, but those who don't know what they are actually doing probably shouldn't quibble.
It's a bit muddy looking, but it tastes pretty good--especially on the pumpkin waffles this morning.....

Then...after a little more coffee than was probably good for me....I made this:which if it works will be a cranberry liqueur in about 3 weeks, and then this: which will be a blackberry & blueberry liqueur. No idea of course what we're going to do with them--though they are supposed to be quite wonderful on a bowl of fresh fruit--but having discovered that Kahlua contains caramel coloring and would be therefore back on the "banned" list, we are again shopping for an allowable martini that doesn't put hair on the chest, as I strongly suspect regular martinis do.

Then--with probably more energy than sense--I dug these out of the freezerand decided to invent my own syrup. It seems to be a combination of sugar & waterheated until the sugar dissolves, then some sort of fruit is addedwhich in this case is mostly blackberries with a few cherries thrown in to reach the 2-cup mark, a little flavoring is added (a hint of fresh nutmeg) then it's cooked for about 10 minutes, the fruit is strained out, and the resulting syrup is cooled & put in the refrigerator. I added a little vanilla to it for interest. It's not as good as the blueberry syrup or anything, but it is edible which quite frankly surprised me. I mean, I've made up soups for years and still manage to produce an inedible one now and then, so I thought my own syrup was about a 1 in 10 proposition. I'm quite pleased with myself & we're having friends over for brunch on Sunday and there will be sourdough pancakes and no less than THREE homemade syrup options! LOOK OUT MARTHA!!!!

Martha In High Gear

Thanks to an ill-conceived plan involving this:
which Andy swears was the most masculine-looking kitty harness at the pet store, we had a very frustrated kitty who ended up spending the morning in kitty time-out:

giving me some prime Martha time. A little addition to the stair landing:
and I redid the stair decorations, which don't photograph well but look really nice. I need to attach a few bows, but I think it's nice.Speaking of bows, I tried out a few on some light fixturesand liked the effect so much that the dining room chandelier got a little attention.I liked the bows better, but I don't have any more bows and I don't know how to make that type of bow (and was being way too lazy to look them up).

The stockings are up,the banister is decorated,and it looks like this will last at least one more year:
It's a centerpiece I won a few years ago, and every year I take it out and glue whatever came off back onto it. So far nothing has happened that a little hot glue can't fix.

Theo did forgive me by afternoon, but Callisto has gone into hiding. I think she's afraid we'll stick a big cast on her as well, so today I found her here:
Can't see her? Try in between the pillows:It's the Kitty-Protection Program. Glad she doesn't know about the kitty enema. She might have moved out entirely....

Sort of Martha-ing

I don't know. I don't actually watch her show, but I have a hard time picturing Martha nursing a cat in a cast:After tonight we'll be down to two medications, so that's exciting, but I just don't feel very Martha-like saran-wrapping a cat's cast before he pees. Maybe I should be using colored saran wrap?

I did get our Christmas tree up and decorated:

though this year I decided to do a very non-Martha tree and I used the tinsel-type garlands like the ones I grew up with. No ribbons or beads or anything exotic this year. Just simple and festive, and I'm quite pleased with it so far, though it needs a few gifts under it to look truly Christmas-y.

I did get a bit ambitious with the entryway:
and those bows are handmade and everything. Well, I bought the ribbon--let's not get crazy here--but I did tie them myself. Granted, they look better at this distance than they do up close, but we don't have any 10-foot-tall friends, so that's okay.

Tomorrow the stockings go up!

Month of Martha - Day 25

Now that I have shared my cold with my loving spouse, we're a rather pathetic tea-drinking, soup-slurping lot around here today. I know the sneezing, coughing, clogged nose thing is all a part of my body's immune system fighting the cold germ, but what I really want to know is, "Are we winning???" Four days into the campaign--it doesn't feel like it.

I have continued with the Martha on a Budget holiday decorating, though with several rest periods involved. Who knew decorating was exhausting?

For the centerpieces for our wedding, my friends graciously assembled 30 of these on the day of the wedding:
I think each of them weighed in at about $10 each, and have now been reused for my parents' anniversary party, several holidays around here, and have now been slightly rearranged to be stairway decorations:
I'll actually add some greenery later when the other boxes come out of storage, and none of them match as I was trying different ideas for each one (and the curls of spare bits of wrapping paper really turned out surprisingly well--I'll get a closeup for tomorrow).

There's sort of a landing partway up the staircase, so I wrapped up another box (the trick is to only wrap what is visible and recycle--the bow is from 2 years ago), and I think I'll add some small ones around it.

Tonight the decoration boxes come out of the garage and the Vicks comes out of the medicine cabinet!

Finally - A Little Martha Action

I have slept the majority of the weekend and the cold is still hanging in there, but I feel less rotten today, which is something. Our youngest cat, Theo, is going in for surgery tonight to repair a damaged leg, and worrying about him seems to have negated the effects of Nyquil, so I started on Christmas decorating today.

For above the new armoire in our bedroom, some decorative packages:
I think I got a little over-exuberant with that gold bow, but at least it's festive. I thought the white bow turned out really well:
The center is a very cheap plastic button I had left over from something, but I really like how it looks. This is called Martha on a budget decorating.

Earlier this year I found some red towels on clearance, so I did a little machine embroidery & decorative stitching and voila:
I think I'd make the design bigger next time, but for this one I was pleased just to figure out how to embroider on terry cloth.

And the fun stuff:
Wrapping up gifts for the nieces & nephews, which are mostly without bows because they all have to be shipped & bows never survive the United States Postal Service.

Tomorrow: more decorating and learning to deal with a cat in a cast.

Month of Martha - Day 21

A forage at the local library turned up these
so my plan for yesterday was to actually sit down with this book
and plan a week of Martha meals. If you can't read the print on the cover, this book is called "Martha Stewart's Healthy Quick Cook; Four Seasons of Great Menus to Make Every Day." Since it's November, I flipped to the "fall" menu, and the first menu I came across was:

steamed Brussels sprouts
mashed rutabagas
roasted rack of venison with pomegranate sauce
seared apples

I actually couldn't even identify a rutabaga, if truth be known, but I am very much game to try it if for no other reason than to be able to use the word rutabaga in a sentence every now and then, "I made the best rutabaga souffle the other night...." which is, of course a complete guess on my part as I'm not sure what one does with rutabaga except obviously mash them. Still, that sounds a great deal better than the Brussels sprouts. Anyone else forced to eat those things as a child? In all fairness, I have actually tried them as an adult and they were vastly better than the smelly, mushy things we were given as kids, but tolerating them & going out of my way to fix them are very different things.

And of course, who among my generation didn't see Bambi at a really young age? Eat Bambi? Are you kidding????? Do they even sell that in grocery stores, or did Martha go shoot her own?

Remember that "every day" part in the title? How about roast pheasant with grapes and walnuts? I did actually hit a pheasant with my car once, so I guess I know how I could actually obtain one, but that seems like a lot of extra effort and a tad more dependency on bad luck than my meals usually involve. How about "chunky cipolline tomato compote" or "fennel carpaccio with blood oranges and black olives?" I don't even know what those are.

Really, I do love to try new recipes, and have attempted many complicated or exotic dishes because they sounded good, so I don't have a problem with that. I run into a sticking problem with "great menus to make everyday," and that "quick cook" part. Sure, the actual cooking time might indeed be small, but if it takes me 3 weeks to SPECIAL ORDER ingredients, I don't think that really counts.

Month of Martha - Failure Number One

Since I'm Martha-ing, I decided our home needed some color, and this fall I planted two mums in the front flower pots. Mums having always been described to me as "fall" plants, I thought this made sense.

Today is November 20, and here's one of the mums:In the store it actually even had flowers. I don't actually remember what color the flowers were, as they all promptly fell off, but I was theoretically going to have fall flowers.

What I have insteadare spring flowers. I took this picture today, and the petunias are going crazy. In fact, this is the best they've looked all year--and it's November 20, which is very much "fall" rather than "spring."

I even have something else coming up
Er, do I still get Martha points if I get the wrong flowers to come up? Do you think Martha ever has argumentative flowers?

Month of Martha - Day 11.....and then some.....

A quick update:

* We have purchased a pressure canner so I may can low-acid foods like soup and vegetable stock. We will be taking bets on whether or not our kitchen ends up with a new skylight.

* Soup Night was thankfully not enhanced with a live vermin floor show.

* I have finally located my old refrigerator magnets, and had forgotten that I had combined several sets including "tabloid headlines" and "pickup lines," and we have been spending an embarrassing amount of time creating pickup lines for each other involving moonlight and aliens.
* We have planted flower bulbs, and feel pretty confident that we got the tulips and crocuses (croci?) in correctly, but we couldn't figure out which end of the anemone bulbs were which, so we may have sideways flowers in the spring:* Even though I have all sorts of free time, I still can't keep up with the list of projects I dream up for myself.

* So far I have not been even slightly tempted by Martha's cookie recipes of the day, but Andy can still dream.

* The Social Season has officially begun, and last week's marathon is about to be dwarfed by Extreme Socializing Week! I would be pitching this to Fox as a "reality TV" idea, but then I'd probably have to take back all the things I've said about their "news" service, so there goes that idea. It does mean that blog posts may be a bit spotty for the next few days, but one can NEVER have too many friends--even if it might be smarter to spread things out a little....

Month of Martha - Day 10 - Soup Night!

Tonight was the monthly Soup Night, which means today was spent making two soups and setting up the house for the monthly soiree. I serve 2 soups--both of which are homemade--but I have been known to use broth from a can and that strange refrigerated bouillon goo, so I don't think I'm scoring many Martha points there. We did use the new napkins I made--definitely Martha points for that--but the hot apple cider was from concentrate--definitely NO Martha points there. Tonight's soup selections were spicy peanut (there being no way for me to resist a soup made with peanut butter), and a roasted garlic and leak soup. Both were fabulous, but the spicy peanut was the clear favorite. Now the big questions: DOES MARTHA BELIEVE IN LEFTOVERS?????

And tomorrow we'll be playing a rousing game of "Clean Up the Kitchen." Not a life highlight or anything, but it certainly still beats the daylight out of a normal job in this economy.

Month of Martha - Day 9

Last night we had a friend over for dinner, which seems quite Martha-like, even if the angel hair pasta was from a box--gasp!

This harmless looking little animal
decided our book discussion was a tad dull and brought in a live mouse to liven up the party. Not only do mice slide around pretty well on hardwood floors, Theo can actually throw them about 2 feet into the air. Luckily, no one was actually hit--but then we can all move pretty quickly when so motivated.

I'll bet Martha hasn't had to deal with THAT one!

Month of Martha - Day 8

I love the idea of being on sabbatical! That's it exactly!

So, in my best Martha impression--which stinks so far, but I'm working on it--I'm trying to plan menus ahead of time. Those who have been to dinner in my home will find that especially funny as I regularly make things up as I go along and have been known to have to convert what was going to be a breakfast entree into Italian meatball sandwiches. But I don't believe anything is impossible. Improbable, yes, but not impossible. I might actually be able to do this.

I decided to check to see what the library had in menu planning and came across this:

Good Housekeeping published this "Menus For a Whole Year of Dinners," and I grew up browsing the recipe section of my mother's Good Housekeeping magazines, and I have memories of some spectacular stuff. I should maybe have noticed that this book was published about the time I was born, but I am never bothered by details.

Sometime before I learned to read, there might have been a little theme-shifting at Good Housekeeping. I remember recipes for baked Alaska, fabulous roast turkeys, wonderful sandwiches--what we got with this book:

* fish sticks with tomato sauce
*Mexican liver
* Frankfurters "garni," which turns out to be hot dogs cooked in beef gravy
* "man-style" baked eggs (no idea)
* deviled-tongue salad
* creamed dried beef on toast points
* jellied ham loaf, which seems to be for those who just can't get enough of that jelly-covered meat we now call "Spam"
* peanut-butter ham steak, which involves coating ham with corn syrup, broiling it, then topping it with peanut butter. ??????????
* lettuce with dried-beef dressing
* luncheon meat mozzarella (picture eggplant Parmesan but with bologna)
* cheese-topped beet mold

On a TOTALLY unrelated topic, does anyone know if divorces skyrocketed around1972-73? Just curious.

I'm going to keep the book around for another week or so just to frighten Andy, and I think it will make a fabulous conversation piece during Monday's Soup Night. :)

Month of Martha - Day 7

So aside from hoping the Month of Martha would spur me on to some sort of organizing frenzy (which it hasn't), one of the reasons for picking this particular project is that like so many Americans, I am out of a job. Actually, only sort of--I have several offers I can take at any time so that's a big difference I would guess. I have refrained from saying anything about it because most people's immediate response would be sympathy or to worry about us, but it has really been a pretty positive thing. Since I was in capital equipment sales, we could see the slowdown back in January & had enough warning time to adjust spending, save like maniacs, and by the time it finally happened at the end of September, it was almost a relief. I parted on good terms with my former employers and have received several calls and emails from my clients. Not that I wouldn't technically have preferred a strong economy and a great year in sales, but things are all still good at Chateau Sutton-Goar.

My background is in sales and/or charity fundraising, and since either field right now would be a fast track to alcoholism, we've decided that me taking some time off isn't such a bad idea. For starters, we still haven't fully unpacked from the move-in almost 2 1/2 years ago, and we're still hopeful of finding the bathroom scale. We also need to do something about the landscaping--which was so poorly done that just taking care of it costs about twice what it should. Then there's painting, finally unpacking wedding gifts, the upcoming holiday--so far I've been working longer hours than I did while I was "working."

The surprising thing so far is how much we're both enjoying this. It's been over a month, now, and we've had more time together, we've been able to spend more time with friends, our weekends are not as rushed, we're eating healthier (and for a lot less money), and we're not as rushed all the time.

Now, since I was born in the 70s, I am a child of the feminist movement. I was raised to be able to change a tire, weld, cook, drive heavy equipment, do simple electrical repair, and be completely independent of men in general--to the great regret of a few former boyfriends. It was hard enough to come to terms with the idea that Andy made more money than I did. To even think about being a "traditional" wife is extremely difficult--and if that were truly my only choice in life, as it would have been in the not-so-distant past, I'd probably be knocking back a couple martinis every morning to get through the day. However, in a temporary "let's see what it was actually like" sort of idea, it might be fun to take things a little slower and spend more time together and with friends.

So, I continue to Martha!

Month of Martha - Day 6

We've been having furnace problems (read: have had no heat for 2 days), so I actually came very close to making Martha's cookie of the day just to have an excuse to turn the oven on, but they were raisin bars today and while I actually do like raisins, I can't stand them IN anything. Truth be told, I bet Martha didn't actually bake cookies today either.

Tonight I did finish 4 satin table runners I've been working on--and without a pattern, which I think should get me double Martha points. I realize if Martha had made them she probably would have woven her own fabric & spun her own thread and everything, but we can't all be Domestic Goddesses. After the last two days, I'm happy with "poor little mortal with a working furnace."

It's all a matter of perspective......

Month of Martha - Day 5

Since it's the Month of Martha, I actually went to the Martha Stewart website and signed up for her "cookie of the day," "craft of the day," and "organizing tip of the day" email newsletters--obviously mostly for my own amusement as the cookies I made last week are the first ones I've made since we sold my house almost 3 years ago. Cookie of the day! I crack myself up.

Anyone know of a "Ways-to-make-oatmeal-palatable" tip of the day newsletter?

Month of Martha - Day 3

So, tonight we were going to have Eye of Round with Bearnaise Sauce. What we ended up having--because I didn't think to check to see if we still had vermouth and only discovered we didn't after the roast was already out of the oven--was plain roast beef. Not bad, but really really plain. Martha would not have approved. Still, I was rather proud of myself for not producing a lump of shoe leather. I don't do much in the "Sunday Roast" sort of cooking, so anything this side of edible is an accomplishment.

My side dish did much better--not requiring vermouth at all, either for cooking or for eating. I live in Idaho and Idaho is known for its potatoes. I've never been overly fond of potatoes having encountered them mostly boiled into mush and topped with gravy (seriously unhealthy), cut up and deep fried (seriously unhealthy), and baked (not unhealthy until enough stuff is added to make them taste good), but now that I'm Marthaing, I decided I should embrace my Idaho roots....or I guess Idaho tubers.

In a wild frenzy of experimentation, I scrubbed a large potato, then microwaved it 2 minutes while I cut up onion, garlic, cabbage (stick with me here), and spinach then shredded the potato and tossed everything into a casserole dish with a mixture of fat-free sour cream, sea salt, water, and a tiny bit of Parmesan cheese. Then I covered it and slid it into the oven along with the roast when it had 20-30 minutes left to go. We thought it was quite fabulous, though to do over again I'd microwave the potato for a couple extra minutes. Still, Martha might have approved of it--even if the cheese wasn't imported and I didn't use exotic potatoes or involve parsley in any way, shape, or form.

On to Day 4!

Month of Martha - Day 2

So, in my best Martha Mode, I got up this morning and made the bed, made coffee--grinding the beans, of course, but admittedly not by hand--then after a brief trip to the gym I was ready to tackle the garlic.

First I dug up one of the sunnier beds
realizing a little late that a swimming workout is not necessarily the best forerunner to an afternoon of shoveling, then I dug out the first compost "harvest" from our compost bin,
adding a few shovelfuls of dirt from the bed where the sugar peas were this year (peas are a legume and put nitrogen back in the soil when they grow, which is really good for most other plants), and with the help of Gardening Kitty
who loves gardening but is deathly afraid of the wheel barrow, I mixed up the soil, then planted 5 or 6 rows of garlic.
A smarter person would have counted. We have Susanville--a softneck having a flavor with "real character"--on the farthest side, then somewhere in the middle it transitions to Polish White--an old world artichoke softneck with a "real punchy taste." I have no idea what any of that means. The big claim to fame for these is that The Garlic Store swears they are easy to grow--and they were one of the few varieties they still had in stock. I have no idea what "real character" tastes like, but I'm guessing garlic with a "real punchy taste" can be translated into "causing dragon breath."

The directions say to cover the garlic bed with 4 inches of mulch,
which was finally enough incentive to rake the front lawn. Somehow I doubt Martha rakes her own lawn, but I can't be exact--I don't have a state-sponsored ankle bracelet, either.

All the yardwork wore out my compatriot,
but I made cookies!
With real butter & sugar and everything. Andy almost fainted from the shock.

By dinner time, my Martha Mojo was running low...

Month of Martha

It's November 1 and time for a new project.

November (and since it's the holiday season, this will flow into December), it's The Month of Martha (as in Martha Stewart). Not that I'm actually going to scrounge up the tv antenna so I can start watching her show or anything--let's not get crazy here--but we've lived in this house for 2 years, and it's time to start settling in, maybe hang a few things on the wall, fix an insane amount of food to celebrate a holiday or two, and if I'm feeling really brave I'll attempt some Christmas cookies--the last attempt having produced one cookie the size & shape of the cookie sheet. I haven't yet decided if I'll attempt a little Martha-inspired insider trading--is it still illegal if you don't make any money at it?

In my first Martha Moment, this arrived today:
It's garlic planting stock. I guess in order to get roots going, garlic needs to be in the ground before it freezes, so we'll be planting it tomorrow. We have two varieties that are supposed to tolerate cold winters and be very easy to grow--and thus more humiliating to kill. We'll see what happens.