I love the idea of slow cookers: an appliance making dinner while I am at work. Walking in the door to the wonderful aroma of a home-cooked meal. Knowing that when I get home from work, all I have to do is set the table.
This is the fantasy.
The reality:
Toni puts a frozen roast in the slow cooker on low for 8 hours and leaves for work. Andy gets home to find a large dog's chew toy in the slow cooker with 2 hours left to cook. While Andy is willing to attempt to consume anything Toni fixes, Toni is not willing to shoe leather and orders pizza for them.
Toni tries her favorite soup recipe in the slow cooker. Four hours later, the mulligatawny is lukewarm and the vegetable are only starting to soften. It's crunchy soup for lunch--and not in a good way.
A slow cooker recipe book suggests a chicken and rice dish, and following the directions exactly, Toni puts the rice and chicken in and leaves for work. She is greeted by chicken breasts in rice pudding. She calls it "British Cuisine" and serves it anyway. Desperation is, if not the mother, at least the great-aunt of fiction.
Thinking she has this figured out now, she puts the chicken in the slow cooker but asks Andy to add the rice when he gets home, leaving it two hours to cook before dinner. In a splendid show of nonconformity, this time the rice stays crunchy until 9:00 PM. Toni apologizes for the disparaging remarks she made about the inventor of the crockpot--she realizes he probably does not do things simply to "mess with people's heads."
Toni starts to develop a tick above her left eye every time she sees the works "easy" or "convenient" in reference to the slow cooker. While not ready to admit that she's getting her tail kicked by a kitchen appliance, she is willing to admit that they may need some time apart, and perhaps a little precooking counseling. In the meantime, she intends to see more of the cute little ice cream maker she found in the back cupboard.....
5 comments:
I have a feeling your crock pot is possessed, possibly by an entire tribe of imps and so on... Mine works just fine, pile in the meat and veg, turn it on low, come home to casserole.
Note: when I first found your blog, I was a little freaked. My father's name is Tony Suttor
Hiya. I use mine mostly when I don't want to turn the oven on because it's too hot. The easiest way for me to make a roast in there is this: Take frozen roast, stick in crockpot - put in an envelope of onion soup mix - pour in 1 12 oz can beer (cheap or flat is just as good, it all works) Turn on low, come back in 10 hours. If you want gravy, take the liquid from the roast, put in a sausepan over medium high heat. Mix a couple or three tablespoons cornstarch w/ 1/8 c milk. When liquid starts to bubble, sloooowwwly dribble in milk mixture while stirring quickly. When it starts to thicken, STOP pouring. Remove from heat after a few seconds.. It's not an exact science, but makes good gravy. Sorry this is so long..
My crock-pot pet peeve is all of the recipes that are supposed to cook for 6 hours. Don't know about you, but my work day is 8-10 on a good day, plus all the picking-up-dropping-off-kids stuff; not exactly the convenient option I was looking for. ! And chicken always turns out nasty.
That said we have a couple of good soup recipes that seem to be reliable; if not sexy, they have good personalities. interested?
Toni, Try this one...it even works for me! Corned Beef brisket, thawed, place in crock pot, cover with spices in packet which comes with the brisket. Cover with water. You can leave it all day on low. Sometimes I put it on high for a while to get it "jump-started." Serve with cheatin' potatoes (Idahoan packet of Loaded Baked with added real butter), and any vegetable. It's too easy and it's good! Let me know when you get you've masted Crockpot 101 & we'll come over for dinner! Kiki
Something definitely wrong with your crockpot! It should be heating up to fairly high temps on the "high" setting and simmering the contents on "low". I would be taking it back...to test it, put in some hot tap water and see if it comes to a simmer or bubbles around the edges within an hour...
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