The pictures from our Baker City excursion can wait one more day (heck, the rest of the honeymoon pictures have been waiting almost 2 years to make it on the blog, so one week is really speedy for me).
Tonight's topic: ANDY AND I ARE DATING!!!!
All right, technically we're dating vicariously, but this is as close as we're going to get to the singles scene, so it counts.
Andy and I actually met 3 years ago on Match.com, and last night we helped a friend take pictures for his profile and tried to help him as he reenters the dating world after a 20+ year hiatus. I come from a family that is way too prone to offering unsolicited advice on every subject under the sun no matter how little experience or knowledge the "advisor" might have, so it's always a bit difficult for me to offer advice to anyone, but we did walk him through some of our experiences and adventures. The mild ones. The real horror stories, of course, we're saving until he's been dating a little while and is more likely to be able to take them. Such as:
* The man who defined "patronizing" to me and didn't mean it as a joke
* The man who sulked for 3 weeks because it took me 24 hours to return his phone call
* The man who spent our entire date talking to a plant
* The man who changed his age every week and might be eligible for selective service and retirement all in the same month
* The telemarketer who talked for 2 hours nonstop while I had to resort to hand signals to order glasses of wine. Unfortunately, I was never able to mime "bruschetta" and finally fled the restaurant before I fainted from hunger.
* The recently divorced man who wanted to make plans for the holidays while on our first date
* The aspiring writer who sent me pages & pages of prose so painful that he should not only have been kicked out of any freshman writing class, he should have been pummeled with large Shakespearean tomes while having to chant "thou shalt not abuse adjectives. Thou shalt not abuse adjectives"
* The 50+ man from Utah whose opening question was (and God knows I quote): R U fertile?
Ah, good times.....
Our little protege is off on his first date tonight! We helped him pick out women last night which might not be something to do with your spouse. When I left the room, there was some discussion about my lack of testosterone, so apparently I don't have very good taste in women. Rats! This is as close as I've ever been to really being "one of the boys" and I failed the entrance exam. Blast!
3 comments:
Brian and I met on match.com too. And ugh - horrible writers must be all over the place; more than one tried to impress with the worst, most painful-to-read crap EVAR!
My SO and I met online, too. I think the service we used was eventually absorbed into match.com, but back then it was FREE. Good luck to your friend (and ha-ha right back at you for your lousy taste in women!)
We met on eharmony - I tried match.com first, but ended up with wayyy too many of those horror stories. One of my fav is the guy who drove the wrong way down Market street (in Phila it is one of the MAIN streets) and on the same date he neglected to note that his car leaked in the rain so I got completely soaked as well as terrified. LOL - so glad it's all over, but it made for some good stories!
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