* Furnaces should only have problems in October when they're only sort of needed....not in December when they're really, really, REALLY needed
* Food eaten at Christmas parties should not make you fat since you're really only eating to be sociable and it would hurt the host's feelings to abstain
* All stores should be required to keep at least ONE replacement carafe in stock for every coffee maker they carry. Depriving customers of a regular caffeine fix is really low on the customer service scale
* Companies should just admit that unless they are involved in anything regarding retail, Christmas, or perhaps food that they really aren't going to do any business in December anyway and should stop interfering with their employee's holiday enjoyment
* Cats should come with "snooze" and "mute" buttons. "Rewind" might be interesting as well
* My Yahoo mail account would automatically realize that I do not have a penis and therefore don't want it enlarged, that I have never and will never buy a replica watch, and that it would take a special breed of stupid to buy drugs over the internet from an anonymous spammer and delete all such emails accordingly
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