A Little Off The Beaten Path: The Christmas Letter

Holiday Greetings!

2009 has been quite a year here at Château Sutton-Goar. This year we:

decided to see if we would feel any difference if we eliminated all processed foods (unknown ingredients, food coloring, high fructose corn syrup) from our diet for one year.
are a bit disappointed to find out that it really does make a huge difference
have a new appreciation for the bravery of our friends who came over to our house for dinner anyway
had an astounding amount of bizarre-looking meals. If you add spinach to almost everything, it increases the nutritional value, but occasionally one feels like one is eating a pulverized Oscar the Grouch
are really glad the one year is almost up
learned to make homemade liqueurs—and in the future would use decaffeinated coffee for Kahlua unless one intends to have cocktails at 7:00 AM
threw a “zucchini cookoff” party and PEOPLE ACTUALLY CAME!
picked several pounds of cherries...which explains all the cherry jam everyone is getting for Christmas
took our injured kitty for walks on a leash—usually in the backyard where there were no witnesses
shoveled insane amounts of horse manure in the literal—not political—sense
decided to double the size of our garden—which made a lot more sense in March than in August
discovered that if we’re having enough fun, it’s hard to notice the difference in only one income

This year I:

spent so much time reading labels for our “Year of No Processed Foods” experiment that a few local grocery stores think I might be a member of staff
grew an insane amount of garlic, and was so pleased with the results that I planted even more for 2010
learned to make two things successfully in that dang crockpot
will have read 100 books (98 and counting at current writing)
have been doing a lot of food history research and was amazed to find that Velveeta was actually invented as a “healthy” alternative to cheddar cheese.
learned how to make non-mushy pickles—and celebrated by canning 50-some-odd jars of them.
used a pressure canner for the first time ever AND didn’t blow anything up. The fact that I was still canning pumpkin at midnight is an entirely different issue.
learned to make mustard, which is much better than anything we’ve encountered in stores.
experienced my first “real” surgery, which wasn’t nearly as bad as the 6-week recovery period

This year Andy:

finished restoring my grandmother’s piano, though learned that it might have been wiser to NOT mention that there would be piano moving involved when inviting buddies over for beer
ran his annual half-marathon....plus a second for good measure/insanity
made homemade crackers, which were excellent...though the thicker ones were a bit like garlic-flavored dog biscuits
learned that motorcycle camping in May is not always a great idea
learned that kayaking in April is an even worse idea
learned to make homemade pasta, though hasn’t found a solution to the “sticking together in some big fettuccine mess while drying” problem
figured out how to fix our furnace after a week of no heat & two separate repairmen did nothing and charged us anyway. (If they can’t fix anything, should they still be called “repairmen?”)
learned that the way to a woman’s heart is through homemade chocolate-peanut butter ice cream

This year I have learned:

just when you’ve thought you have set a new standard for crazy pet owners everywhere, you find yourself signing your cat up for water rehab therapy
cats can have nightmares....probably over the kitty water rehab therapy
if the compost doesn’t get hot enough to kill seeds, it’s a terrific way to seed your lawn, flowerbeds, and flower pots with cucumbers, tomatoes, and sugar peas
putting steaming horse manure on the lawn and garden won’t kill the plants, but might have had something to do with two neighbors moving away
finding a chocolate zucchini cake recipe can make one more accepting when one ends up with a second summer squash where pumpkins were supposed to be planted
those plastic knobs on the gas stove have a lower melting point than one might think
never underestimate how fast a determined cat can remove a leg cast. Theo’s current record is before even getting him home from the vet, which has made him a legend at WestVet
for some cats, kitty valium is not so much a sedative as kitty speed. Finding this out after giving it to a cat in a cast is really unfortunate
just because it stains your fingers, it doesn’t mean that blueberry juice can color frosting
after 6 months, one does stop fantasizing about Diet Pepsi, but one never stops thinking about chocolate
if one of the cats turns a live bird loose in your house and it settles into a flower arrangement four feet above the open front door, the odds of the bird figuring out that a) the flowers are fake and b) it could get out through a door just a few feet below it are next to zero—no matter how strong the cold wind is blowing through the house
if a doctor tells you initially that surgery recovery will take about a week, it’s best to ask questions. He meant in the “stop feeling like crap” sense, and I meant in the “can be out shoveling dirt in the garden” sense
doped up on enough pain killers, I can have all the milkshakes I want because I won’t actually feel my normal headaches from my milk allergy....or anything else for that matter
“all natural” on a food label doesn’t mean what I thought it meant
don’t assume ANYTHING about your home’s construction—even if you bought the builder’s own home
there is such a thing as bacon-flavored lip balm. Why is anybody’s guess
life is always an adventure, though some days more than others.......